Things You See on Airplanes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 17-06-2010
Tags: funny observations, Humor Articles, humorous articles, humorous essays, jokes about airplanes, really funny essays
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Having just visited some family in Pennsylvania I was recently on a plane so I thought it was appropriate to make some observations about the things you see on airplanes. Don’t automatically assume that I am going to attack the pilots since they seem to be garnering a reputation for drinking on the job. That is an unfair generalization and just because my pilot did look tire and had bloodshot eyes does not mean he was drinking while flying…it could have just as easily been drugs.
One thing that you often see on an airplane is a mother breast feeding her baby. I have no idea why some people are offended by this beautiful and natural act. It is also a very effective method for quickly quieting the baby down. On a plane a crying baby can be very annoying to many. Personally, I have nothing but admiration for the baby who can cry and immediately get a breast stuffed in his face. There are many men who would love to bring that strategy to the table. In fact, many women are often wanting their men to open up more and see their feminine side. I think if they were rewarded with a breast in their face every time they cried you would see so much of a feminine side in men some of them may start to grow female parts. But that would defeat the purpose so forget that last part. But seriously, I do think I feel a tear forming in my eye right now.
Another thing that invariably happens on airplanes is the pilot announcing some landmark, such as the Grand Canyon, on one side of the plane or the other. This can be a great opportunity to steal food from the person sitting next to you as they crane their neck looking out the window. Of course, then you have to risk the guy on the other side of you ratting you out… not that anything like that ever happened to me, I’m just saying it’s something that could happen. What really ticks me off is I would have shared the food with him, but no, he had to tell the guy…it didn’t actually happen, just theoretical, but it could have.
It always amazes me how people on a plane will talk on their cell phones as long as they can until they have to turn them off. Then as soon as they are allowed to turn them on again they do it with the gusto of a person getting a drink of water when being on the brink of dying of thirst. Yet, through the whole flight they will never have talked to the person next to them. (As I write this I realize it’s not particularly funny, but something I happened to observe, sorry, I’ll try harder to make them funny observations.)
Then there is always the guy who tries to stuff an over sized bag into the overhead compartment. On this trip it was in the middle of the flight, which brought a visit from the flight attendant. It turned out that he was trying to stuff the kid that was sitting behind him and kicking the back of his seat up there. Sadly, it was not allowed.
At the end of all flights the flight attendants give you the compulsory “bye-bye” as you leave. On this trip it just so happened that the flight attendant had big breasts (or so someone pointed out…I hadn’t noticed before that) and coincidentally there was a mother who had been breast feeding on the plane getting off just in front of me. Frankly, the thought of that beautiful act brought a tear to my eye. Unfortunately, the attendant was looking at the baby and didn’t notice the sincerity of my tear (which I got by adroitly plucking a hair out of my nose while no one was looking.) I hate it when sincerity like that gets wasted.
Very stimulating blog commentary… definitely something to think about =). Thanks for sharing this.