Things People Should Say When They are Pissed
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 24-06-2010
Tags: funny essays, Humor Articles, humorous article, humorous articles, humorous essays, jokes about Obama, laugh out loud, really funny articles, really funny essays
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Wouldn’t it be cool if when someone was really mad and yelling and swearing at you that the sounds that actually came out of his mouth were the sounds of the symbols used like when you write somebody swearing, for example, “You rotten &^!7#^%#&*!@.”
You’d both hear that stuff come out when he was actually intending some really nasty stuff and you’d both look at each other and say “What!?” (Note: the exclamation point and question mark would not be sounded out in this case.) You’d both start laughing and walk away friends again.
It kind of works that way with kids sometimes:
1st Kid: You stupid do-do brain.
2nd Kid: Yeah, well you’re balongo head.
1st Kid: You’re a kalogtangoagado face.
2nd Kid: You’re a boo-boo head.
Then they are overtaken by uncontrollable laughter for no logical reason and they run off and play again, only to repeat the process a few more times in the day.
Maybe adults should just fight like kids do, or better yet, if heads of state would argue like that we could end up with world peace. Let’s use our imaginations and think of what Hillary Clinton and the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-il, would argue like if they did it like kids:
Hillary: You need to get rid of your stupid-head nuclear weapons.
Kim Jong-il: Nuh-Uh!
Hillary: Yuh-huh!
Kim Jong-il: I can do what I want.
Hillary: Yeah, well you have weird hair.
Kim Jong-il: Well, you’re a BITCH! (Oops! Sorry, I lost track of things there, that’s actually what Bill Clinton would have said to Hillary. I’ll give Kim another shot at it.)
Kim Jong-il: Well you wear weird pants suits all the time.
To that, Hillary’s lower lip would start to quiver and after a short pause she would get up and run to the door. Just before she ran out she would turn and yell at him:
Hillary: Yeah, well why are all the people in your stupid country named Kim? Can’t you think of any other names?
Then she’d run out into the hall and bumps into the principal of the United Nations, who would take them both into his office and they work things out. They would stick their tongues out at each other as they’d leave the office but at least they weren’t fighting anymore.
Okay, that one probably didn’t end up like you thought it would (it didn’t for me either) but nobody got blown up.
So, let’s give this fighting like kids one more go, with President Obama and Vladimir Putin, the Prime Minister of Russia, going at it like kids would:
Obama: Why do act so weird all the time?
Putin: I don’t, you do, you stupid bogo head.
Obama: No, you do!
Putin: No, You do!
Obama: Wait a minute. Why are we fighting? I admire you and your country so much. I wish my country was more like yours.
Putin: Hey, thanks dude. You keep working on it, you’re headed there.
They put their arms around each other and as they are walking off together Putin has another question:
Putin: Why do people in your country accuse you of being a communist like it’s a bad thing?
Obama: I KNOW, huh?
They laugh about it together and then run off and play in a pile of other people’s money.
If you’ve followed Obama’s presidency at all that one didn’t surprise you a bit…Yuh-huh!
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