The Thing That is Really Wrong with Men
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 15-07-2010
Tags: funny article, funny essays, funny observations, Humor Articles, humorous article, humorous articles, humorous essays, really funny articles, really funny essays
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A recent study showed that some men had a “disorder” that caused them to make sexual passes, while asleep, to their spouse. The disorder is called sexsomnia. To that I say puhleeeeease! They don’t have a “disorder”, they have a condition which is called being a man.
Just because some guys feel they have to be creative and pretend they are asleep to make a pass at their wives is no reason for shrinks to say there is something wrong with them. If they want call it a disease, though, a more appropriate name would be “lack of gettin’ it disorder”. Or if you want to make up a new name you could call it “hornyitis”, which would, of course, be an inflammation of their horniness.
Wanting to have sex is one of the few things that women can accurately predict about men. So don’t take that away from the poor women who have put up with us men for so long. And let me speak for all men when I say we are happy to oblige on that point.
I recently read a list of gripes that women had about men. Among the complaints were:
- that men are not understanding enough
- that men were not sensitive to feelings and needs
- that men are not affectionate enough
- that men don’t communicate enough
- that men don’t express their feelings and thoughts
- and that they don’t pay enough attention to their partners.
In the defense of men let me take up each of these points one at a time. And really, the facts of our defense are all in the first three paragraphs of this article. But for purposes of clarity let me break them down.
To say that men are not understanding is clearly a misnomer. We understand that women have needs for sex too and we don’t want you to have to ask so we are understanding enough to take that burden off of the women.
Next, that men are not sensitive to feelings and needs. I think that was covered thoroughly already in the last paragraph.
Saying that men are not affectionate enough is obviously wrong. Let’s just take a look in the Webster’s “Man” dictionary…ah yes, there it is, the definition of affection for men is sex. (Wow, this is easier than I thought it would be.)
Now saying that men don’t communicate enough is not at all fair. It’s just that we often prefer to have that physical communication line. Touch is truly a powerful way to communicate.
To say that men don’t express their feeling and thoughts is simply ridiculous. For god sake, women, we are telling you we want sex. How much more expressive about our thoughts and feelings could we be? The problem all along is that you thought we were deep. We’re not. We’re very shallow, actually.
And the last one, that we don’t pay enough attention to our partners. If we are having sex with you I believe we are paying attention to you (even if sometimes when they are doing it some men are thinking about someone else. It’s merely a technicality.)
So there you have it. And as I proof read this article one thing has become very clear to me. Comedian, Tim Allen, was right all along when he said “men are pigs”. And you could probably accurately say we have a lot of disorders, but at least we have them with a smile on our faces.
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