Some More Steven Wright Jokes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 31-03-2010
Tags: funny one-liners, hilarious jokes, jokes and stuff, really funny jokes, Steven Wright jokes, Steven wright quotes
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I posted jokes from Steven Wright before but these are different ones, he has so many to choose from:
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn’t have to go so fast.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’
I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.
I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
I wrote a few children’s books… not on purpose.
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
