Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 14-08-2013
Here are some jokes by stand up comedienne, Natasha Leggero, who is seen frequently on comedy Central and many other venues:
Male comics are always coming up to me, and they’re like, ‘Hey, Natasha, don’t you think you’re a little attractive to be a comedian?’ And I’m like, ‘Don’t you think you’re a little ugly to be talking to me?’
I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, ‘Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole time I’m home?’ And my mother said, ‘You used to talk like that, too, Tasha.’ And I said, ‘Yes, but you see, I’ve reinvented myself. Do you have any idea who I think I am?’
I should pitch that to TLC: ‘I Didn’t Know I Was Getting F**ked.’ Oh wait, that’s called ‘Jersey Shore.’
Why do the guys get so upset? It’s just business. Its hard breaking up with them because you have to be like, ‘Listen you’ve run out of money.’
I love being in New York; every time I stay here I stay in a different area. Right now I’m in Chinatown which I like to call ‘The Illegal Purse District.’
My dad discovered the Internet. Uh, just because someone raised you, does not mean that you have to add them on Facebook.
Did you know they had home paternity tests now at Rite Aid? Not pregnancy tests, paternity tests. So you can go down the aisle you know you and your kid, ‘Uh, let’s get some toilet paper. You want an ice cream cone? You know while we’re at it why don’t we see who your daddy is. It’s on Aisle 4.’
There’s another show about toilet babies. It’s called ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians.’
TLC’s trying to make this show educational, so they’re like, ‘Pregnancy Tip #2: This can happen to you.’ No one smart is having a toilet baby. It’s not like, ‘Darling, you’ll never guess what’s come out of my vagina.’
Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting roofied? It’s like, relax, you can take the coaster off your drink, there’s at least three of us in line before you.
For $100 you can get a seat on this tour bus that takes you to the most dangerous parts of Los Angeles. I know because it goes past my house.
How come there’s no self-effacing rappers? ‘Had to go to Goodwill to get this jacket, that’s ’cause I’m in a low-income tax bracket.’ That I would listen to.