Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 15-05-2013
Here are some more Jay Leno jokes about President Obama:
President Bush briefed Barack Obama on the state of the nation this week. I don’t know that things look bad, but after the briefing, Obama called McCain and said, ‘You still want the job?’
This was actually in the paper today, that both parties are already preparing for 2012. Isn’t that unbelievable? But I was thinking, it’s going to be tough for Barack Obama to come up with a campaign slogan for 2012. I mean, what’s it gonna be? ‘Don’t change, everything’s fine, don’t change anything, keep it exactly the same!’
In the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, Barack Obama says if he is fortunate to win the White House, he would like to install a basketball court. That’s what he said. It’s going to be built right on top of what is now the bowling alley.
Actually, Barack Obama’s wasting no time. He has chosen Illinois Congressman Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff. Rahm Emanuel. Apparently Barack’s first order of business, no guys with regular names. Okay, that’s it! No Larrys, no Bobs! Just Barack and Rahm.
Don’t you love how the different news outlets put their own slant on it? Like see how Fox News is covering Barack Obama’s first 24 hours? They said, ‘Day One: American Held Hostage!’
Barack Obama spent his first day as president-elect putting together his transition team. And if you believe MSNBC, by tomorrow he will have chosen all 12 of his disciples.
Hey, did you see Barack Obama on the news? He took time out to take his kids trick-or-treating, that was nice. But he’ll only let them take candy from households making over $200,000 a year.
Hey, I watched ‘American Idol’ last night, the Barack Obama show. Did you all see Barack Obama’s infomercial? It was called “American Stories.” You know why they called it “American Stories”? I guess it sounded better than ‘Barack Obama Running Out the Clock.’
The show was very well done. I got to admit, I especially liked the end, where Barack rose to the heavens on a cloud. Wasn’t that unbelievable?
Here’s the amazing part, this is true, it was the highest-rated show on NBC last night. NBC’s already talking to Barack about picking it up for 13 more episodes.
This is exciting. Earlier this evening, Barack Obama’s 30-minute infomercial appeared on three of the major networks. Fox, CBS and NBC. And, of course, NBC was thrilled to be considered a major network. We haven’t had that in years!
Now, if you didn’t see it, one part was a little odd. At the end, Barack said, ‘If you vote now, we’ll throw in a set of steak knives and a can of Oxiclean.’
And of course, this Barack Obama appearance was historic for our network. Did you know this? This is the first time a black man has appeared on NBC in prime time since Bill Cosby.
Barack Obama continues to lead in the polls. Barack said, today, if it wasn’t for Fox News, he might be up two or three more points in the polls. So apparently, five of the six news channel openly rooting for him isn’t enough. You gotta get that last one.
Barack Obama also says that both men and women should have to register for the draft. What do you think of that? The first woman he wants signed up? Sarah Palin.
Barack Obama has bought a half-hour of airtime on CBS. He’s now negotiating with NBC, but they have some disagreement. See, Barack just wants to buy a half-hour, but NBC wants him to buy the entire prime-time schedule for the entire rest of the year.
Barack Obama said today the government’s $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. Barack Obama says he knows that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fund raisers to come up with that kind of money.
And the first presidential debate will take place this Friday night. They say John McCain’s challenge will be to distance himself from President Bush. And Barack Obama’s challenge will be to answer questions before his supporters can start clapping. So it’s going to be very tricky.
At a rally in Florida, Barack Obama was interrupted by a protest group calling themselves ‘Blacks Against Obama.’ Actually, a pretty small group. It’s just Condoleezza Rice and Jesse Jackson.