Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 06-12-2012
(I wrote this article last year around this time…Hmmm, if only it had come true.)
President Obama apparently got a visit from the ghost of Christmas future, which made him realize the right thing to do was to give a gift to all the poor children whose parents make more than $250,000 a year. Of course, the Democrats may assert that he got a visit from the Devil, but it’s all a matter of perspective.
Instead of seeing a grave site in his future like Scrooge saw in the classic Dickens tale, Obama saw himself sitting in a retirement chair in 2012, which to a power hungry politician is the same as a grave site.
I’m guessing it went something like the following. When Obama got the visit from the ghost of Christmas future, who he dreaded the most of all the Christmas spirits, he first saw Hillary Clinton haggling over his belongings while she was preparing to run for election in 2012.
Next the ghost of Christmas future took him to see “tiny” Joe Biden. He was “tiny” not because he was short in physical stature but short or “tiny” in his ability to think and talk at the same time. He got to view a conversation from the future:
Tiny Joe: Hi, Mr. President, how the f___ are you? Why so glum?
Obama: I just lost the primary, to Hillary Clinton of all people. I thought I had her bought off with that Secretary of State post.
Tiny Joe: Oh well, It’s not a big f___ing deal. We had four years. Our time is passed. Hey, I know, we can blame Bush for not getting re-elected.
Obama: It is a big deal, you idiot. We almost had the whole country turned communist. Now, I won’t be able to make it happen.
Tiny Joe shrugs and walks off. The ghost of Christmas future and Obama fast forward to a room where they see Tiny Joe’s head soaking in a jar of formaldehyde.
Obama: What happened to him?
Ghost: You shot him after the last scene we just saw and now they are studying his brain to try to figure out how someone so stupid could advance so far in the political scene. You spent the rest of your life in prison, where you lobbied for prisoners to get free cigarettes from the government.
Obama: Hmmm…Still, I did get to shoot Biden, so every cloud does have a silver lining.
They fast forward to a new scene. Obama walks into Ben Bernake’s office:
Obama: Hi Uncle Ben. Even though I’m not going to be President anymore will you still be able to print money for me any time I want it.
Bernake shakes the shackles that father time has pinned him with due to all his financial transgressions and he shouts at the top of his lungs:
Ben: No, you moron, not another dime for you. I’m going to have to fake another bailout to the big companies so they force their employees and unions to vote for Hillary. Yeah, she’s a bitch, but at least she’s not a Republican.
Obama wakes up and finds himself in the Lincoln Room of the White House. He sees the ghost of Lincoln staring him in the face.
Obama: Abe is it really you?
Lincoln: (Sarcastically) No, I’m that commie Franklin D. Roosevelt? Of course, I’m Abe. But if you don’t straighten up your act you’re going to end up here with us other presidential ghosts and you’ll be treated just like we all treat Roosevelt. Nobody likes him very much, not even Truman.
Obama: What should I do Abe?
Lincoln: Work with the Republican’s for starters.
Obama: I will, Abe, I will.
Obama ran out of the room and he was true to his word. He did work with the Republicans, at least to the degree that he thought it would get him re-elected.