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Best Late Night Jokes of the Week – 08/26/11

Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including David Letterman and Craig Ferguson. (The rest are on vacation.) “Yesterday, earthquake; today, hurricane. Where do you go next — Tripoli?” –David Letterman “The earthquake registered 5.8 on the Richter scale....

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Funny Observations from Current Events – 12/10/13

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 10-12-2013

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Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week:

Over the weekend, a man who fell asleep on a United Express flight woke up to find himself all alone, locked inside the cold, dark plane.  The workers said they didn’t have the heart to wake him because he was the first person to ever get  a good sound sleep on a plane.

At Friday night’s Jingle Ball in Los Angeles, Miley Cyrus twerked on Santa Claus.  His response was “what a Ho Ho Ho.”

Someone recently suggested that Miley Cyrus get counseling.  She told them she has been getting counseling already – from Lindsay Lohan.

Last week fast-food workers walked off the job in 100 cities.  This left the regular fat–assed customers of the fast food restaurants “moving quickly” to find food alternatives.

These days, especially during the holidays, you can buy anything online—except ObamaCare.

Actually, the Obamacare website not working was just a ploy.  They can get the website working perfectly, but Obamacare, itself, will always suck.

Recently President Obama admitted that they “fumbled” on Obamacare.  If he was going to use football vernacular to describe what occurred, “throwing a bomb” would have been more accurate.

According to a new poll, Congress’ approval rating has fallen to an all-time low of  6%, which is a little hard to believe, because that is less than the percentage of people that are bribing Congress.

On ABC’s This Week, former White House Senior Advisor David Plouffe said: “People trust President Obama.”  This explains why he is the “former Senior Advisor,” he is apparently a heavy drug user.

In Virginia a car hit a deer and the deer then flew into a jogger.  The jogger suffered a concussion, a cut to her scalp and a bruise to her right knee.  Fat people everywhere hailed this as evidence that jogging can be hazardous to your health.

darnfunnyonline.com

Random Thoughts on Obama Healthcare

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 13-10-2009

Tags: , , ,

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Here are a few short thoughts on Obama healthcare:

With Obama healthcare it’s going to feel like every doctor is a proctologist because if it passes every time you go to the doctor you’ll feel like someone is poking you in the ass.

With Obama healthcare we’ll be able to add to the cliché “nothing is certain but death and taxes” and “long waits to see the doctor that will just piss you off after you do see him anyway, and it will increase your taxes, and…oh, never mind”.

We know Ted Kennedy helped write the new health care proposals before he died so there is a very good chance that there is something about free boob jobs in the small print somewhere.

If Obama healthcare passes you can bet there will be a lot more people getting free health care at the exact same place Ted Kennedy is now receiving his health care.

One of the biggest worries with the new healthcare proposals is that there will be an increase in fraud .  Gosh and  geewillikers, it’s hard to believe anything that originates in Washington D.C. would be associated with fraud.

I understand the undertakers and casket makers are 2 of the biggest lobbies pushing for this health care plan.

Obama has promised that his healthcare proposals will not raise taxes, but the American people are too smart for that and they have responded to Obama about taxes with a pithy reply of “up yours”.

 

 darnfunnyonline.com