Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 06-03-2012
Rick Santorum is so anti-gay that his secret service code name is “say no to TSA groping.”
A 55 year-old grandmother wants to try out for the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. If she makes it her job will be to say to the other cheerleaders, “Don’t you think that outfit is a little too revealing?”
President Obama told a crowd of auto workers that in 5 years when he is no longer president that he is going to buy a Chevy Volt. There was no hint on what he might be driving in the prior 4 years when he’s not president.
Bristol Palin is getting her own reality show. It’s being called “Who’s More Annoying, Me or My Mom?”
Snooki is pregnant. She’s had so much alcohol in her life that if she breast feeds the baby the child will be able to follow in her mother’s alcoholic footsteps at a very early age.
The approval rating for Congress continues to be at 10%. O.J. Simpson is more popular than Congress. But at least O.J. was good at something. Football, that is. I didn’t mean he was good at getting away with murder because Congress does that all the time too.
March is National Ethics Awareness Month. Surprisingly, Congress is still open during that time period. I assume that is because they have no awareness of ethics.
I saw a headline that said “Obama Granted $2.6 Billion to Four Wind Energy Firms.” I wondered if that was code for having granted the money to political PACS because nowhere is there more hot air produced than by politicians.
Paula Deen has been accused of condoning sexual harassment and racist remarks. She figured a lot of the food she was pushing on others was so sweet that she didn’t have to be.
A Sri Lankan man died while trying to set the record for being buried alive. Now, no one knows if he set the record and he’s not around to celebrate if he did.
I saw another headline that said “Chupacabras With Wings and Fangs Blamed for Sheep Deaths.” I don’t know what chupacabras are, but it sounds like a menu item at Taco Bell and it that’s the case they could be responsible for deaths all over the U.S.