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Best Late Night Jokes of the Week – 05/13/11

Here are the best jokes from the late night comedians for this week including Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson and David Letterman: “The interior minister of Pakistan says that they have nothing to hide. Yeah, not anymore.” –Jay Leno “The United...

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Autumn is the Best Time of Year

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 29-09-2011

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

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Autumn is my favorite time of year.  The leaves start to turn beautiful shades of a variety of colors, (well, not too many colors here in California) the air gets nice and crisp, (of course, here in Southern California it was 92 degrees yesterday) the grass stops growing so you no longer have to cut it, (actually, here in Southern California the grass grows year round) but, most important of all Starbucks starts to serve pumpkin lattes.  The truth is, I don’t drink lattes of any flavor but I had to have something that no one could take away from me in the fall because I live in Southern California.  And, the fact is, you can’t toss a computer geek anywhere here without hitting a Starbucks.

Okay, so in Los Angeles the fall is not as pronounced as it is in many other parts of the country but it is still noticeable and I still love it.  And being a basically optimistic person, it could be a lot worse.  It could be Florida where the winter is warm, the spring is hot, summer is disgustingly hot and humid and fall cools off to repeat the spring at hot.  I’ll tell you, Santa Claus has to be pissed when he goes through Florida as he is overdressed and the sleigh just doesn’t move as well in the sand as it does in the snow.  It’s probably a good thing that there are so many old people there so Santa doesn’t have to make as many stops.

Anyway, back to fall.  Football season makes it seem like fall no matter where you live.  I don’t know what it is about seeing grown men run into each other full force, often breaking each other’s bones, that brings out the fall season, but it sure does.  Also, as you get deep into fall and early winter and you watch football on TV you can sometimes see snow and then you really get to experience the change of seasons via the magic of football.  So, really, football season (the fall) is a magical time no matter where you live.  Football widows should take note of that, if I do say so myself, brilliant reasoning.

Also, the World Series takes place during the fall.  What sane person wouldn’t get complete satisfaction out of watching grown men try to hit a ball with a stick and then run around touching bases, even if sometimes players steal the bases.  By the way, when they steal the bases they are cheered on and there is no punishment at all, only reward.  At any rate, it is fall when the World Series takes place and the players are often wearing jackets when they are sitting on the bench which makes it that more much definite that it is fall.  This time of year is a virtual panacea for sports fans.

It’s not just exciting for men with their sports, but women can also enjoy shopping for the new fall line of clothing, blah, blah.

Kids love this time of year too because there is Halloween and they can get a sugar high like you would not believe!

So, fall is great no matter where you live because of all the fun activities associated with it….even pumpkin lattes, if you are into that.

darnfunnyonline.com

Some Autumn Humor

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 21-09-2009

Tags: , , , ,

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To commemorate  the beginning of fall here are some autumn jokes I found:

Autumn is a season for big decisions — like whether or not it’s too late to start spring cleaning.

This autumn we can look forward to falling leaves and rising gas prices. We’ll be raking it up while the oil companies are raking it in.

The autumn leaves are a lot like raising kids. First they turn on you, and then they fly away. And next thing you know, you look out the window and they’re back!

I got tired of looking at all those leaves in my yard, so I got up off the couch and went into action. I closed the curtains.

The leaves are beginning to fall, and soon only two things will be hanging from the trees: the last leaf and the first football coach.

I can hardly wait until all the leaves turn brown to match the grass.

Ah yes, summer’s out and autumn’s in. From swimming pools to football pools….

This is an exciting autumn. Our athletes are breaking the records for the most Olympic medals, and our political candidates are breaking the records for the most campaign promises.

Now, today’s lawn & garden tip. If you haven’t found the hedge trimmer yet, forget it.  It’s almost time now to loose the leaf rake.

I could tell there was a hint of autumn in the air when my son’s football smashed me in the face.

It’s fall, that time when the colors change from green to red to gold — and that’s just the gunk in your swimming pool.

Autumn is a great time of the year. Soon those ugly patches of dead grass in your lawn will be covered up — with ugly patches of dead leaves.

(this wasn’t an autumn joke but it cracked me up.)

Right now, I’m having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. – Steven Wright

darnfunnyonline.com