Quotes by Various Comedians
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 03-03-2010
Tags: funny comedian quotes, hilarious jokes, jokes and stuff, really funny jokes, Tina Fey jokes
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Here are a mixture of jokes from a variety of comedians.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
Tina Fey
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
Tina Fey
I’d like to play a horse, many people think I already have. Either end of the horse would be fine.
Dawn French
An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them.
Stephen Fry
I don’t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Stephen Fry
It is a cliche that most cliches are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.
Stephen Fry
I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.
Totie Fields
Everybody wants to eat at the government’s table, but nobody wants to do the dishes.
Werner Finck
Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.
Kevin Nealon
I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn’t nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.
Randy Newman
If we’d had another carefree 70’s, I’d have been dead. It was a little too carefree, you know? I don’t know how carefree they were for me, I think I was worried then, I can’t remember what about.
Randy Newman
