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Funny Quotes from Famous People – VII

Here are some very funny quotes from people who are mostly very famous: My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. –Mitch Hedberg My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. -Spike Milligan My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. -Jay...

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It Could Be Worse – Issue III

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 20-10-2009

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As I have done before, whenever something goes wrong I like to cheer myself up by thinking how it could be worse.  Here are some examples:

It could be worse, you could own a barber shop and on your promo piece you use a picture of Donald Trump.

It could be worse, you could be a nude model vying for a spot in Playboy and find out that you were beaten out by Marge Simpson.

It could be worse, all of your Facebook friends are fans of “The Biggest loser”, not because they want to lose weight but because they like the title.

It could be worse, you could be Bernie Madoff and your new cell mate is a three hundred pound former wrestler who was arrested after going berserk when he found out he lost his entire investment portfolio in your ponzi scheme.

It could be worse, you could be Al Gore pitching global warming at a convention and nobody shows up because of a blizzard.

It could be worse, you could be a member of ACORN and be surrounded by a herd of large, rabid, deranged squirrels.

It could be worse, you could live in a country whose economy was already in the pooper and you could elect a president who prints money like it’s “Monopoly “ money and gives it away to losing companies like… uh-oh, wait a minute, let’s forget that one.

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