Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 08-02-2010
Here are some jokes from on of the all time great comedians, Bob Hope:
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
I like to play golf in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.