Featured Post

Woman’s Love Poem / Man’s Love Poem

This was sent to me by someone and it was too funny to not put on the site: Women’s  Love Poem Before I lay me down  to sleep, I pray for a man, who’s not a creep, One who’s handsome, smart  and strong One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he  speaks, One who’ll...

Read More


 

Some Bob Hope Quotes

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 08-02-2010

Tags: , , , ,

11

Here are some jokes from on of the all time great comedians, Bob Hope:

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything till noon. That’s when it’s time for my nap.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I like to play golf in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.

I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.

If you haven’t got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

darnfunnyonline.com