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I realize Obama is an easy target for humor but it was a slow humor day so here are some good late night jokes about President Obama:

“But Obama’s birthday is a reminder of why healthcare is so important. As you probably know, due to a lack of healthcare coverage, Obama’s mother was turned away from a number of hospitals and was ultimately forced to give birth in a manger.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said they gave it gave it to Obama partly for his idealism and commitment to global cooperation, but mostly for calling Kanye West a jackass.” –Conan O’Brien

“Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he’s not too busy with the two wars he’s conducting.” –Bill Maher

“I thought it was very ironic that he won the Nobel Prize for peace on a day we bombed the moon.” –Bill Maher

“President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the president’s fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer.” –Jay Leno

“Today marks 100 days of President Obama being in office, which is a big deal because 100 days is when his warranty runs out. We couldn’t return him now even if we wanted to.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama should get a big refund this year because he has a lot of dependents. AIG, Citibank, Morgan Stanley — all dependents.” –Jay Leno

“Barack Obama’s daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it’ll be cleaned up by future generations.” –Jay Leno

“As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role in the auto business. President Obama offering hope, change, and 0 percent financing.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama has announced a task force to review the tax codes. He’s concerned there are too many loopholes and too many people manipulating the system to avoid paying taxes. And that’s just in his administration.” –Jay Leno

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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians.

”A new study shows that the phrase most often used by President Obama is, ‘Let me be clear.’ The phrase he uses the least often? ‘Let me be specific.’” -Jay Leno

“Did you see what happened to Rush Limbaugh? Hey wanted to buy the St. Louis Rams and they wouldn’t let him. He said this was a dream he had, to some day own black people.” -Bill Maher

“The White House is calling for bailed-out executives to get a 90% pay cut. They want their pay cut 90% so it’s more in line with the job they’re doing. Here’s my question: why can’t we get this for Congress?” -Jay Leno

“Here’s the latest from the Pentagon. The generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts: with Afghanistan and Fox News.” -Jay Leno

“Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have invented a robot whose sole mission is to deliver you snacks. Got a big problem here in America. We’re getting too much exercise walking to the fridge, now?” –Jay Leno

“According to USA Today, car theft is at a 20-year low. Well, that shows you how bad the auto business is. People don’t even want to steal them now.” –Jay Leno

“President Obama announced he wants to give every senior citizen $250 next year. This is part of his ‘Cash for Geezers’ program.” –Jay Leno

“And prosecutors in New York City have filed charges against a man they claim scammed dozens of illegal immigrants by posing as an immigration lawyer. They say this guy lied to his clients, he gave them bad advice and stole their money. I don’t know, sounds like a real lawyer to me.” –Jay Leno

“And the Post Office may cancel Saturday delivery of the mail. Do you know about this? See, for young people before texting and twittering, you used to send pieces of paper to each other.” –Jay Leno

“Yesterday in Louisiana, a judge denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he felt, I quote, their children would later suffer in life from being interracial. Like when they become president or win the Masters or get an Oscar.”  –Jay Leno

“This afternoon, according to a a media psychologist that was on this cable show today, it may not be John Edwards’ fault that he cheats on his wife. Not his fault. They psychologist said he may suffer from a clinical condition known as Asperger’s syndrome. Asperger’s syndrome. No, you know what he has? He has ‘ass grabber’ syndrome.” –Jay Leno

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Here are the week’s best late night jokes:

“There’s been some squabbling in the Republican Party. In a recent interview, John McCain’s former campaign manager said that if Sarah Palin is the Republican Party’s presidential nominee, the results will be catastrophic — as opposed to when she was the vice presidential nominee and everything went perfectly.” –Conan O’Brien

“The other day at a political fundraiser, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi got to meet actor Robert Redford. And witnesses say she was flirting with him. There was an awkward moment when Pelosi winked at Redford and $4,000 worth of Botox squirted out.” –Conan O’Brien“And earlier in the week, President Barack Obama met with 150 doctors. He got all kinds of advice from them. This weekend, he’s going to try out the tips they gave him on the golf course.” –Jay Leno

“And over the weekend, the President and the First Lady celebrated their wedding anniversary. They went out to dinner. There were no gifts exchanged. They didn’t exchange any gifts because, as you know, that would be socialism.” –Jay Leno

“And President Obama had a very tense 25-minute meeting aboard Air Force One last week with General McChrystal, our top general in Afghanistan. And apparently, McChrystal gave a speech in London last week very critical of Obama’s policies in Afghanistan. And Obama was not happy. In fact, he considers it so important, he’s thinking about canceling his upcoming appearance on ‘Ellen.’” –Jay Leno

“President Obama’s national security advisor said the President will overturn the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy in the military. Well I think that’s good. I think gay people should be allowed to serve in the military. It seems ridiculous if they’re not. And listen to this. They’ll be able to keep the same slogan, an ‘Army of One — Singular Sensation.’” –Jay Leno

“I think Obama is starting to get a little desperate. After losing the Olympics last week, he scaled back a little bit. Like, today, he was in New York, making the case for Chicago-style pizza.” –Jay Leno

“Hey, speaking of presidents, a former speechwriter to President Bush was quoted as saying that, contrary to what people think, ‘Bush wasn’t dumb.’ In fact, as we speak, that quote’s being engraved on the wall of the Bush presidential library.” –Conan O’Brien

“You hear about Letterman? I was shocked that Letterman has been having affairs. I had no idea he was even running for office.” –Bill Maher

“President Obama has banned federal employees from texting while driving, because he says it’s distracting and could lead to accidents. That’s what he said, yeah. Obama admitted that he was texting behind the wheel when he picked Joe Biden for vice president.” –Conan O’Brien

“There’s a new book out called “why women have sex” that has a list of 237 reasons why women have sex. And Letterman knows the top ten.” –Jimmy Fallon

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