Some Tim Allen Quotes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 21-04-2010
Tags: funny quotes, hilarious jokes, jokes and stuff, really funny jokes, tim Allen jokes, Tim allen quotes
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Here are some funny quotes from comedian, Tim Allen:
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
Men are pigs. Too bad we own stuff.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
Never comment on a woman’s rear end. Never use the words “large” or “size” with “rear end.” Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.




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when i browse videos on youtube, i always look for those videos with funny stuffs in it~*.
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I have a fan page on Facebook under the name of Steve Yeich and also have a Twitter page under my name which is about the danfunnyonline site as well
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Very stimulating blog commentary… definitely something to think about =). Thanks for sharing this.