Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 28-12-2009
A while ago I posted some Woody Allen quotes and here are some more:
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘No.’
I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I’ve never been an intellectual but I have this look.
If my films don’t show a profit, I know I’m doing something right.
If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.
In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.