Some Funny One-liners

Funny Observations from Current Events – 06/22/11

Here are some funny observations after keeping an eye on current events over the last week: Since Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress he’s looking for new career opportunities so he’s thinking of becoming a priest. Mel Gibson is dating again so it looks like we have a potential comedy replacement...

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 10-03-2010

Tags: funny one-liners, hilarious jokes, jokes and stuff, really funny jokes, Really funny stuff

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Here are some funny one-liner jokes that someone sent to me. The jokes are anonymous, that is , no author as they have probably been used by many comedians and others, but they are funny.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.

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