Similarities Between Basketball and Sex
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 26-04-2012
Tags: funny observations, humor about basketball, humor about sex, humorous articles, humorous essays, humorous writing, really funny articles, really funny essays, Similarities Between Basketball and Sex, witty sense of humor
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Last week I re-posted an article on how baseball and sex have a lot of similarities (see it here.) In fairness to the different sports and to sex itself I felt I should also point out the similarities between basketball and sex. Plus, the timing is right since the NBA playoffs start this weekend.
First of all, there has to be a huge correlation between sex and basketball as evidenced by the notorious reputation that NBA players have for fathering numerous children with a variety of different women. But the bottom line on the whole comparison is that the goal of the game is to get it in the hole. I was speaking of basketball there, but yeah, for both of them really.
Of course, when you are trying to get it in the hole you are trying to score, either for a man or a woman. Scoring is the object of the game. I bet you didn’t know if I was talking about basketball or sex there, did you? Both , really.
A good pass in basketball has a totally different meaning, but, just as in sex, it can lead to a score.
In basketball there is a lot of dribbling. In sex there is not so much dribbling but it does occur with premature ejaculation and prostate problems. A double dribble in basketball is a violation and if you commit a double dribble in sex, it’s even worse, because, you are likely to be on the sideline for a while.
When a basketball player sets a pick it is a good thing. In sex, if a man picks, as in his nose or his ass, it is most likely not going to lead to sex. Nevertheless, picks occur in both arenas.
A rejection (aka a blocked shot) is considered a good defensive play. Arguably, the same could be said for sex.
The sixth man in basketball is a very valuable player. However, if you are the sixth man in sex don’t even bother.
Both basketball and sex have a guard. In the one it is the player who typically handles the ball a lot. In the other if you are a player who handles the ball a lot you are not a player at all, except with yourself. In sex the guard is actually called a condom.
Both of these activities have what is called a foul. In one it is illegal physical contact. In the other if one of the partners is foul it will lead to a lack of physical contact.
In basketball there is a thing called a three second violation. That’s where if you stay in (the lane) more than three seconds your team loses the ball. On the other hand, in sex, if you ONLY stay in three seconds you get to keep your balls but you are not likely to ever get back into the game.
Going “backdoor” in basketball is when the player cuts behind the defender, receives a pass from his teammate and scores a basket. Backdoor in sex often means the husband has come home earlier than expected.
Both basketball and sex can be fun sports to play for both genders. Basketball is also a great spectator sport. Some people thing sex is too, but that’s a whole other story.
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