Recent Late Night Jokes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 18-09-2009
Tags: Conan O'Brien jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Fallon jokes, Jimmy Kimmel jokes, jokes about the government, jokes and stuff, jokes from late night comedians, late night humor, really funny jokes
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Here are some of the best of the jokes from the late night comedians this week.
“Well, here’s a story that won’t go away. Congressman Joe Wilson has refused Democrats’ demand to apologize to Congress on the House floor, to which Kanye West said, ‘I’ll do it. That’s okay, I’ll do it.” –Jay Leno
“Wait, have you heard about this? Oh, I love this. They have new House rules saying members of Congress cannot call the President a liar. They cannot call him a hypocrite. They cannot say he is dishonest. Today, President Bush said, ‘Hey, where were these rules when I was President?’” –Jay Leno
“Hey, if they start banning hypocrites and liars from the floor of Congress, there won’t be anybody in the building.” –Jay Leno
“Of course, you know President Obama yesterday created quite a stir, because he apparently called Kanye West a jackass. Yeah, well, some people are now upset with President Obama for calling Kanye a jackass. They’re upset about it. Yeah, and Joe Biden is furious, because ‘Jackass’ is his Secret Service code name.’” –Conan O’Brien
“In Connecticut — this is weird — one of the Republican candidates running for Congress is the former CEO of the W.W.E. wrestling organization, which could be good. Congressmen will be less likely to scream out, ‘You lie!’ if they could get hit with a folding chair.” –Conan O’Brien
“Yesterday, former President Jimmy Carter said that Congressman Joe Wilson’s outburst during President Obama’s speech last week was based on racism. When Joe Wilson heard that, he said, ‘I can’t get mad at Jimmy Carter. He’s white.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“Joe Wilson is now the only United States congressman to be formally rebuked for speaking out while the President was giving an address. That could explain his Secret Service codename, ‘Kanye.’” –Jimmy Fallon
‘Yesterday, Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said it is ‘very likely’ that the recession is over. I hope this isn’t like when President Bush told us the war in Iraq was over.’ –Jimmy Kimmel
“They always do this when there’s a holiday, whenever people want something. The latest rumor is there may be a pumpkin shortage this year. They say a chilly, damp summer in the Midwest and Northeast has hurt the pumpkin crop. They say large pumpkins are going to be hard to find. Isn’t that unbelievable? I mean, our pumpkins are getting smaller and thinner, and our trick-or-treaters are getting bigger and fatter.” –Jay Leno
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