More TSA Jokes from Late Night
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 29-11-2010
Tags: David Letterman jokes, hilarious jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Fallon jokes, Jimmy Kimmel jokes, late night humor, late night jokes, really funny jokes, TSA jokes
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Here are some more jokes about the TSA’s new pat-down procedure from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Seth Meyers, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and David Letterman:
“You know, if I wanted somebody halfheartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I’d get married.” -Seth Meyers
“It was bad enough when the TSA agents would go through your underwear in your luggage. Now they’re going through your underwear while you’re wearing it.” –Jay Leno
“Now, to make it worse, the airlines are charging a $15 molestation fee.” –Jay Leno
“In San Diego, a man refused to be patted down by airport security and some people are calling him a hero. I don’t mind being patted down by airport security, but I don’t like it when the guy says, ‘Now you do me.’” –Conan O’Brien
“One of those airport naked scan images ended up on the internet. And you know who it was? Brett Favre. What are the odds?” –Jay Leno
“TSA Chief John Pistole says he and his boss Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano have each personally received the more invasive TSA patdown. They both had it. Yeah, it’s been called the world’s least sexy threesome.” –Conan O’Brien
“TSA agents can now feel the inside of passengers’ thighs. I get more action going through airline security than I did all through high school.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what’s the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.” –Jay Leno
“Thank you, TSA pat down for making air transport feel like that one time at summer camp. ‘We’re still cool, aren’t we, Gary?’” –Jimmy Fallon
David Letterman’s “Top Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a TSA Agent”
10. “Do I need a degree in groping?”
9. “Am I only doing this for the sweet TSA uniform?”
8. “If I find explosive underpants, may I keep them?”
7. “Will I enjoy being cursed at 40 hours a week for minimum wage?”
6. “If I find explosive underpants, may I keep them?” That was No. 8. Who checks these things anyway?
5. “Should I practice by frisking people on the street?”
4. “In five years, whose pants do I see my hands in?”
3. “Do I really want to know what a fat guy’s thighs feel like?”
2. “May I frisk myself?”
1. “What’s the closest airport to Shakira’s house?”
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