Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 24-04-2012
It is time for another version of “It could be worse,” (which translates to I didn’t have time to write any real jokes) where we look at how things could always be a whole lot worse than they actually seem.
It could be worse:
You could be a Secret Service agent and find out that what you are doing with prostitutes is not so secret and, actually, not very servicing either.
It could be Earth Day every day, which would remind us all of Al Gore on a continuous basis.
You could be a man and have read the story that scientists say that by 2050 robots will replace hookers and then you think, “Gee, my wife is ahead of her time. She is already like a robot in bed.”
Or you could be a woman and think the same thing about your husband.
You could be the transgendered man who gave birth to three kids and separated from his wife…Wow! Enough said on that one already.
You could be Jack Nicholson on your 75th birthday and “not be able to handle the truth” that you are 75 years old.
You could be former Senator, John Edwards, who goes on trial this week for allegedly using illegal campaign contributions and if you are convicted it’s quite possible you will have insufficient hair care products in jail to satisfy your needs.
You could be the overweight cat in New Mexico that is comparable to a 600 pound human and develop a complex because all the neighborhood mice are mocking you.
You could be the fisherman who accidentally caught a 2,000 pound shark off the coast of Mexico and realize that’s what it’s like all the time for people who deal with lawyers.
You could be North Korea after their failed nuclear bomb test and be afraid that the U.S. is going to send a bomb of their own your way by sending a copy of the movie “John Carter” to all the theaters in North Korea.
You could be Newt Gingrich, who was bitten by a penguin at the St. Louis Zoo because it thought you were a hippopotamus trying to attack.
You could be President Obama and think that the congressional and judicial branches of the government should be cancelled…(That’s not a joke at all, just something that needed to be said.)