Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Humor article | Posted on 10-05-2012
With baseball season now in full swing and the basketball playoffs in progress it makes me harken back to the days of my youth when I would watch sports in my bedroom on a black and white TV with rabbit ears and so much snow on the screen it was hard to believe we could be having blizzards in April and May even if they only occurred in my bedroom. Watching with this terrible reception is also the reason I am blind today. Just kidding, but I had you going for a minute there didn’t? But, logically, how could I type so well, with only occasional typos, misspelled words and misplaced commas, if I was blind? Really?
This article was originally going to be about sports but then when I started harkening it put me in a harkening mood so I think I will stick to the harkening. You are probably wondering if I’m able to follow a train of thought…what was I saying?
Anyway, back to this harkening business. I remember when commercials on television were actually entertaining and you remembered the jingles like, “Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs, what kind of kids eat Amour hot dogs, fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks,” etc. etc. (If you find yourself singing that song now and not being able to get it out of your head I take full responsibility, not that that will get the song out of your head, but I’ll no longer feel bad about it.) (Another aside, if that commercial was made today the lyrics would have to end after “fat kids.”) Nowadays the commercials on TV are selling prescription drugs and more than half of the commercial is devoted to giving side effects of the drugs such as death or depression for anti-depression drugs. But you have to admit if you are dead you’re no longer depressed.
Here is another harkening, weren’t they the good old days when you could go out of your house without a cell phone and not have to worry about walking into a pole while you are looking into your phone and texting? Although, it can be entertaining to watch others do that.
It’s hard to imagine what we did before we had the Internet. Oh wait, I remember now. We watched TV with the bad reception as in paragraph one. So forget that harken.
Back in the day, one of the great inventions was the Etch-A-Sketch. How cool was that compared to the bland stuff they come up today like iPads, iPods, iPhones, blah, blah. Okay, maybe those things are better but at least back then they knew to capitalize the first letter of a proper iNoun.
Twenty or thirty years ago there was no TSA and if you were going to be groped by a relative stranger back then it had to happen the old fashion way, like through sexual harassment on the job.
Change is not always bad. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. Very often we like to make less of progress to feel better about the past. Anyway, I’m done harkening. I’m getting thirsty so I‘m going to go outside and drink some water out of the hose like when I was a kid.