Funny Useless Crap to Ponder Throughout the Day

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 13-07-2010

Tags: funny observations, hilarious jokes, humorous writing, really funny jokes, witty sense of humor

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Here are some funny, albeit meaningless, ideas to ponder throughout the day when you have extra time, like while standing in a line, sitting on the toilet, etc.

Lindsay Lohan had an obscenity manicured onto the nail of her middle finger while appearing at her recent court date. It makes you wonder if Joe Biden might have been her copywriter.

Since women are so worried about making sure clothing and accessories match, does that mean they think a guy might not want to sleep with them if their shoes and purse did not match.

If terrorists are promised 70 virgins when they go to heaven does it follow that Catholic priests are promised 70 12 year-old altar boys when they go to heaven?

How many Republicans are secretly cheering that President Obama is campaigning for Harry Reid? And I wonder if they are secretly hoping Joe Biden joins in too because that would really make it a “Big f___ing deal”.

How many Americans are waiting for Obama to start taking credit for creating jobs for all the people doing the BP oil clean-up?

American’s diets are typically so bad it makes you wonder if they are just eating that way so their asses get so fat that they will be considered too big to fail.

Since the Netherlands were in the Cup Final I’m curious how many people actually thought Peter Pan might be playing.

BP has reported progress on the oil spill. I’m wondering if the progress is that Obama is no longer talking about kicking anyone’s ass.

….And last of all I wonder how many of you are actually going to remember some of these lines the next time you are sitting on the toilet.

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