Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 03-08-2011
Here are some funny quotes about women and some of them are even by women. I don’t know who said these quotes, they are all unknown:
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
From 40 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 40 feet away.
I love women. They’re the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that’s fine.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.
No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.
I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.
When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?
Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’.
What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.
A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.
Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
Women are an alien race set down among us.
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult.
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I’ll show you a man.
I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.