Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 17-07-2012
Steven Tyler is going to be leaving American Idol so that he can devote more time to his first love, cross dressing.
A man barricaded himself in a hotel in Belmont, North Carolina. He threatened to shoot police and one of his demands was that he wanted to marry Paris Hilton. So, I guess it is true; the criminal does try to punish himself.
At first the White House told us not to read too much into the recent bad jobs report. Now they are saying it’s a vast right wing conspiracy and finally it will be Bush’s fault.
Bruce Willis has begun filming his fifth Die Hard movie. His character is starting to get old. The plot of the movie is he’s trying to get the attention of a driver who forgot to turn off his turn signal and now he’s really pissing off the other drivers.
Willis said there will be one more movie in the series after this. In it his John McClain character will sign off and the movie will be called Died Hard.
There was a New York man who went to the hospital because he had a twelve hour erection after taking Cialis. The doctors saved him but now he wants to pitch the story idea to Bruce Willis, with the title Almost Died Hard. (Okay, I’m done with the Die Hard jokes.)
A new report finds the quality of education in public schools to be so bad these days that the only good reason for students to stay in school anymore is to have sex with the teachers.
Joe Biden announced that he is confident that Obama can win by running on his record. Typically, he messed up the sentence and altered some words. What he meant to say was, “he can only win if he runs away from his record.”
Charlie Sheen is really showing more and more signs of sanity and sobriety. He has officially signed off from Twitter.
Robert F. Kennedy’s daughter, Kerry Kennedy, was arrested in New York for driving under the influence of drugs. Her excuse was that she was trying to channel the family legacy.