Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 24-01-2012
According to a poll, 43% of Americans thought God helped Tim Tebow win football games. But many of them also resented it because that meant God was sitting at home watching football while they were at church.
President Obama was in Disney World last week where he unveiled his new plan to create jobs. Appropriately, the code name they had for the plan was “Goofy.”
According to the CDC, 69% of Americans are overweight or obese. So, if California ever does fall into the ocean we’ll know why.
Wikipedia was voluntarily down for a day last week in protest of proposed laws for anti-piracy. So, for that day you had to go to another source if you wanted misinformation about a topic.
Newt Gingrich’s ex-wife had said that he wanted an open marriage. I don’t think that’s different than most politicians. He just wanted to be able to screw as many people as possible.
A human head was found near the famous Hollywood sign in Hollywood hills. Parts of the brain were missing so police were pretty certain that it was a local resident rather than a tourist.
Joe Biden was at a Democratic fundraiser last week in San Francisco and he said, “The Giants are on the way to the Super Bowl.” After getting jeered he said he made a mistake because the San Francisco baseball team is the Giants. Who would have thought Biden would ever get confused? Anyway, since the subject was football it is appropriate that he stuck his foot in his mouth.
Last week a woman took her 5 year-old son along with her on a bank robbery. Apparently, she had no money for a baby sitter and that’s why she was robbing the bank.
Newt Gingrich overheard a newsman reporting about the election saying, “The stakes were very high.” Newt’s reaction was, “Steaks? I’ll have three, well done.”
Chris Christie had harsh words about Newt Gingrich’s past record. One reporter called it putting a knife into Newt’s back. Naturally, Christie would have saved the fork for himself because he was going to lunch right afterword – hey, fat guys gotta eat.