Featured Post

Jack Benny and George Burns Jokes

Here are some jokes from two classic comedians, Jack Benny and George Burns, who were also good friends so it appropriate to post their jokes together: Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Jack Benny Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful...

Read More


 

Funny Comedian Quotes

Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 28-04-2010

Tags: , , , , , ,

4

Today I have funny quotes from Gracie Allen, who was George Burns wife, and also from comedian Richard Lewis.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Gracie Allen

The President of today is just the postage stamp of tomorrow.
Gracie Allen

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it’s all checks and no balances.
Gracie Allen

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Gracie Allen

When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she’d just make enough for 16 and only serve half.
Gracie Allen

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.
Richard Lewis

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.
Richard Lewis

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.
Richard Lewis

My grandmother was a Jewish juggler: she used to worry about six things at once.
Richard Lewis

When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
Richard Lewis

darnfunnyonline.com

Comments (4)

[...] the original:  Funny Comedian Quotes | darnfunnyonline.com By admin | category: funny quotes | tags: are-some, from-comedian, george, george-burns, [...]

hey hey very nice post. good collection of funny quotes. love to visit this blog . nice work

this post is very usefull thx!

My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

Write a comment