Funny Christmas Quotes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 02-12-2009
Tags: funny jokes and stuff, hilarious jokes, jokes and stuff, really funny jokes, really funny quotes
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December is all about the holidays so here are some funny Christmas quotes:
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. – Phyllis Diller
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. – Jay Leno
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Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts. – Unknown
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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet. – Unknown
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. – Shirley Temple
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven. – W.C. Fields
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. – Johnny Carson
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Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. – Kin Hubbard
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discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money? – Tom Armstrong
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