David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists – 07/23/12 to 07/26/12
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 30-07-2012
Tags: David Letterman jokes, David Letterman's top ten lists, funny one-liners, hilarious jokes, really funny jokes
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Here are David Letterman’s top ten lists from last week:
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Top Ten Nations Competing In The Olympics Or Bones In The Body
10.Nambia
9.Tibia
8.Latvia
7.Seychelles
6.Phalanges
5.Tie: Coyccyx/Dijbouti
4.Ulna
3.Aruba
2.United States of America
1.Ribs
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Top Ten Excuses Of The Burger King Employee Who Stood In The Lettuce
10.”Someone was already standing in the pickles”
9.”It seemed inappropriate to squat in the lettuce”
8.”Was attempting to make four Whoppers at once”
7.”Couldn’t find a stepladder”
6.”I’m trying to cut back on standing in carbs”
5.”Sometimes, to relax, I pretend I’m a crouton”
4.”It’s the best way to get salad dressing off your shoes”
3.”Had to cool my feet after standing in the deep fryer”
2.”Someone needed to show the lettuce who’s boss”
1.”Hey, don’t judge me till you’ve walked a mile in my lettuce”
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Top Ten Things Overheard at the Tony Robbins “Firewalk Experience”
10.”My low self-esteem is gone thanks to the third-degree burns”
9.”Which extremity do we set fire to next?”
8.”Hey, no cutting in line!”
7.”When I signed up for the ‘Firewalk Experience,’ no one told me there’d be firewalking”
6.”I’ve never felt more motivated to sue Tony Robbins”
5.”Why won’t Mitt Romney release his tax returns?”
4.”I should’ve just stayed home and walked on my stove”
3.”Help me, Dr. Scholl!”
2.”Worst seminar since Deepak Chopra’s ‘Groinkick Experience’”
1.”I’m capable! I’m invincible! I’m on fire!”
Monday, July 23, 2012
Top Ten Television Shows Not Nominated For An Emmy
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