David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists – 07/17/12 and 07/18/12
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 23-07-2012
Tags: David Letterman jokes, David Letterman's top ten lists, funny one-liners, late night humor, late night jokes, really funny jokes
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Here are David Letterman’s top ten lists from last week:
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Top Ten Questions On The Application To Become Mitt Romney’s Running Mate
10.Bank account: Swiss or Cayman Islands?
9.Why would Mitt hire you instead of cheaper, foreign labor?
8.Ever shot a hunting buddy in the face?
7.Mind if Mitt’s dog rides in your car?
6.Are you willing to strongly support both sides of every issue?
5.What traffic sign best describes the way you make whoopee?
4.Do you promise not to vote for Obama?
3.What’s the name of your dancing horse?
2.Have you ever Anthony’d your Weiner?
1.Can Mitt borrow your tax returns?
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Top Ten Ways To Describe The Current Weather
10.Partly apocalyptic
9.Mostly sweaty
8.Fetid with a chance of putrid
7.Toupee-glue melting
6.Sauna-rific
5.Sunstroke-tastic
4.Soupy (but not chilled soups, like Vichyossie or Gazapcho)
3.Global basting
2.Mamma Mia, that’s a spicy forecast!
1.So shvitzy I could plotz


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