David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists – 05/14/12 to 05/18/12
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 21-05-2012
Tags: David Letterman jokes, David Letterman's top ten lists, funny one-liners, hilarious jokes, late night humor, late night jokes, really funny jokes
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Here are David Letterman’s top ten lists from last week:
Friday, May 18, 2012
Top Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear In A Fast Food Restaurant
10.”We’re out of meat — Someone run to the zoo”
9.”No shirt, no shoes: That’s the manager”
8.”Anyone seen my glass eye?”
7.”That raccoon’s been in the snake machine all day”
6.”Health Inspector — Run!”
5.”Somewhere on my body I’m wearing an onion ring”
4.”That ain’t special sauce”
3.”Clear!”
2.”Will that be all, Lardass?”
1.”My sandwich is giving me the finger”
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Top Ten George W. Bush Nicknames For Mitt Romney
10.Mittwit
9.Rombo
8.Governor of Mittsachusetts
7.El Romnito
6.Beef-a-Romney
5.Mitt the Press
4.Romnuts
3.The Mormonator
2.Roof Doggy Dogg
1.Bain in the Ass
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Top Ten Signs You’re Shopping At A Bad Wal-Mart
10.The store is on fire
9.There’s a guy living in your cart
8.Hard to navigate around all the crime scene tape
7.Aisle three is a meth lab
6.Prices are falling, but so are the load-bearing steel girders
5.Palpable sense of despair and ennui (Sorry, that’s a sign you’re at a regular Wal-Mart)
4.Only thing half off is the store manager’s pants
3.Store policy: “You break it, you eat it”
2.”Salon” is just Mitt Romney forcibly cutting some guy’s hair
1.The greeter gives you the finger
Monday, May 14, 2012
Top Ten Least Popular Baby Names
10.Larry Anne
9.Douggg
8.Rush
7.Kimberly Jong-Un
6.iTodd
5.Tie: Jackass/Jillass
4.Illegiti-mitch
3.Hedda World Peace
2.John Edwards, Jr.
1.Newt
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