David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists – 04/30/12 to 05/04/12
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 07-05-2012
Tags: David Letterman jokes, David Letterman's top ten lists, funny one-liners, late night humor, late night jokes, really funny jokes
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Here are David Letterman’s top ten lists from last week:
Friday, May 4, 2012
Top Ten People Who Would Look Good In a Sombrero
10.Queen Elizabeth
9.Kim Jong-Un
8.Abe Lincoln
7.Keith Olbermann
6.Neil Armstrong
5.U.S. Supreme Court
4.Tanning Booth Mom
3.Nick Nolte
2.Donald Trump
1.Katy Perry
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Top Ten Surprising Facts About United States Presidents’ Love Lives
10.The Phrase, “I like Ike” was first uttered on the Eisenhowers’ honeymoon
9.Andrew Jackson’s first girlfriend: Barbara Walters
8.Richard Nixon? Tricky Dick
7.Herbert Hoover invented the intimate act known as “Hoovering”
6.After spending the night with James Buchanan, girlfriends received a White House gift bag
5.The Reagans’ pillow talk was peppered with the word “gipper”
4.Hary Truman? Slut
3.Lincoln was the only President to send a photo of his deal via Pony Express
2.George W. Bush polled himself daily
1.After sex with George Washington, Martha often complained of splinters
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Top Ten Surprising Facts About Advertising Characters
10.The ‘E’ in Chuck E. Cheese stands for E. Coli
9.Mr. Clean’s baldness due to active ingredient alcohol ethoxylate
8.Though he doesn’t really care for Ronald McDonald, Burger King affords him professional respect
7.Chef Boyardee won’t let his kids eat canned pasta
6.Even Flo the Progressive Insurance Lady is tired of seeing her commercials
5.While the Kool Aid Man identifies as male, he has no gender-specific organs
4.Tony the Tiger is often reprimanded for shouting “They’re great!” at women wearing tight sweaters
3.In 1997, Joe Camel underwent a silicone hump implant
2.Off camera, Snuggle the Fabric Softener Bear is a real prick
1.The “Where’s the beef” lady’s last words were “Where’s the nurse?”
Monday, April 30, 2012
Top Ten Ways Mitt Romney Begins Conversations With Teens
10.”How’s puberty going?”
9.”Where do you summer?”
8.”Do you fellows play sportball?”
7.”Nice shirt — You know, my friend owns the Gap”
6.”You teens are just the right height”
5.”Check out my sick Windsor knot”
4.”Would you like to see my dancing horse?”
3.”Raise the roof if your municipal bonds have reached maturity”
2.Just like this: (video of Mitt saying “Who let the dogs out?”)
1.”Didn’t I fire your father?”
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