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With baseball season now in full swing and the basketball playoffs in progress it makes me harken back to the days of my youth when I would watch sports in my bedroom on a black and white TV with rabbit ears and so much snow on the screen it was hard to believe we could be having blizzards in April and May even if they only occurred in my bedroom.  Watching with this terrible reception is also the reason I am blind today.  Just kidding, but I had you going for a minute there didn’t?  But, logically, how could I type so well, with only occasional typos, misspelled words and misplaced commas, if I was blind? Really?

This article was originally going to be about sports but then when I started harkening it put me in a harkening mood so I think I will stick to the harkening.  You are probably wondering if I’m able to follow a train of thought…what was I saying?

Anyway, back to this harkening business.  I remember when commercials on television were actually entertaining and you remembered the jingles like, “Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs, what kind of kids eat Amour hot dogs, fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks,” etc. etc.  (If you find yourself singing that song now and not being able to get it out of your head I take full responsibility, not that that will get the song out of your head, but I’ll no longer feel bad about it.) (Another aside, if that commercial was made today the lyrics would have to end after “fat kids.”)  Nowadays the commercials on TV are selling prescription drugs and more than half of the commercial is devoted to giving side effects of the drugs such as death or depression for anti-depression drugs.  But you have to admit if you are dead you’re no longer depressed.

Here is another harkening, weren’t they the good old days when you could go out of your house without a cell phone and not have to worry about walking into a pole while you are looking into your phone and texting?  Although, it can be entertaining to watch others do that.

It’s hard to imagine what we did before we had the Internet.  Oh wait, I remember now.  We watched TV with the bad reception as in paragraph one.  So forget that harken.

Back in the day, one of the great inventions was the Etch-A-Sketch.  How cool was that compared to the bland stuff they come up today like iPads, iPods, iPhones, blah, blah.  Okay, maybe those things are better but at least back then they knew to capitalize the first letter of a proper iNoun.

Twenty or thirty years ago there was no TSA and if you were going to be groped by a relative stranger back then it had to happen the old fashion way, like through sexual harassment on the job.

Change is not always bad.  Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad.  Very often we like to make less of progress to feel better about the past.  Anyway, I’m done harkening.  I’m getting thirsty so I‘m going to go outside and drink some water out of the hose like when I was a kid.

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I am a movie buff.  I like to watch movies very much.  It’s a little known fact how many of the most famous movie quotes actually were originally written very differently and had they not been re-written they would not have had nearly the same impact.

I did a lot of research on this and the research I do for this web site is well documented. In fact, there is a document on my desk right now that says I actually do research, despite what anybody else says.

Here are some examples of how some famous quotes were changed, and it’s lucky they were:

One of the most famous movie quotes of all time by Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn,” was originally quite different.  The first version went like this, “Gee, Scarlett, (Gables’ eyes start to tear up) maybe we can sit down and discuss this and come to a compromise that will work equally well for both of us…No? Okay, I guess I’ll be leaving then, but remember the door will always be open for reconciliation.”

I think we can all agree that the flavor of the movie would have been changed if they gone with the original version.

Here’s another example of how re-writing can make a huge difference.  In the Godfather, Marlon Brando said, “I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”  The original version was like this, “I’m hoping and praying I can come up with something that will work for all of us.”  That may have weakened the movie a bit.

Then there was the famous quote from Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz, “Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.”  This one was vastly different with the original one being, “Toto, where the f*** are we now?  Oh, what the hell am I asking a damn dog for?  That damn wicked witch must have put a f***ing spell on me.”  If they had stuck with that line it would have hurt the Dorothy character’s likability.

Another classic movie quote was from Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now.  The line was originally going to be, “I love the smell of flowers in the morning.”  That didn’t work.  So they decided it needed more of an edge and they made it, “I love the smell of coffee in the morning.” Still no good.  Finally they settled on, “I love the smell of napalm in the morning,” and the rest is history.

I know what you are thinking now.  You are thinking I’m making this all up and you are probably saying to me now, “I WANT THE TRUTH.”  And my answer to that is, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.”  So that’s all I have to say about that, at least until next time when I might just do more of these because I’m having fun..and that’s the truth.

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Last week I re-posted an article on how baseball and sex have a lot of similarities (see it here.)  In fairness to the different sports and to sex itself I felt I should also point out the similarities between basketball and sex.  Plus, the timing is right since the NBA playoffs start this weekend.

First of all, there has to be a huge correlation between sex and basketball as evidenced by the notorious reputation that NBA players have for fathering numerous children with a variety of different women.  But the bottom line on the whole comparison is that the goal of the game is to get it in the hole.  I was speaking of basketball there, but yeah, for both of them really.

Of course, when you are trying to get it in the hole you are trying to score, either for a man or a woman.   Scoring is the object of the game.  I bet you didn’t know if I was talking about basketball or sex there, did you?  Both , really.

A good pass in basketball has a totally different meaning, but, just as in sex, it can lead to a score.

In basketball there is a lot of dribbling.  In sex there is not so much dribbling but it does occur with premature ejaculation and prostate problems.   A double dribble in basketball is a violation and if you commit a double dribble in sex, it’s even worse, because, you are likely to be on the sideline for a while.

When a basketball player sets a pick it is a good thing.  In sex, if a man picks, as in his nose or his ass, it is most likely not going to lead to sex.  Nevertheless, picks occur in both arenas.

A rejection (aka a blocked shot) is considered a good defensive play.  Arguably, the same could be said for sex.

The sixth man in basketball is a very valuable player.  However, if you are the sixth man in sex don’t even bother.

Both basketball and sex have a guard.  In the one it is the player who typically handles the ball a lot.  In the other if you are a player who handles the ball a lot you are not a player at all, except with yourself.  In sex the guard is actually called a condom.

Both of these activities have what is called a foul.  In one it is illegal physical contact.  In the other if one of the partners is foul it will lead to a lack of physical contact.

In basketball there is a thing called a three second violation.  That’s where if you stay in (the lane) more than three seconds your team loses the ball.  On the other hand, in sex, if you ONLY stay in three seconds you get to keep your balls but you are not likely to ever get back into the game.

Going “backdoor” in basketball is when the player cuts behind the defender, receives a pass from his teammate and scores a basket.  Backdoor in sex often means the husband has come home earlier than expected.

Both basketball and sex can be fun sports to play for both genders.  Basketball is also a great spectator sport.  Some people thing sex is too, but that’s a whole other story.

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(I wrote this about 2 years ago and since we are at the start of a new baseball season it is a good time to repost it.)

Since we are into the baseball playoff season, and sexually I like to refer to myself as a fall classic (I can dream, can’t I?) I thought it would be apropos to point out the similarities between baseball and sex as one ages:

A good young shortstop can go deep in the hole to make a great play that everyone enjoys.  An aging shortstop might still be able to go deep in the hole but he can’t always pull off the great play anymore.

When you are young and versatile you are able to play every position there is.

As you get older you don’t move as well as you used to so you only want to play one position or sometimes two.  Playing every position is too hard but you still get a lot of enjoyment at those one or two positions because you are still in the game.

As a pitcher you can still go the distance when you need to but it’s okay to come on in relief and just make a short appearance.  After all, your fastball still has a lot of movement on it.

As a hitter you can still swing the bat pretty well and you can still hit the long ball.

Sometimes it’s okay to only get to first or second base.  You don’t need to hit a home run every time you get to the plate.

The fans still love to see you play…oops! Wait a minute, I was thinking of an aging stripper.

…And one of the best comparisons of all is that it is a game that can be enjoyed at any age.

(For women the game would be soft ball and I don’t even want to go there.)

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Much has been said about how men and women view romance from a different light.  There have been many books written on the subject….Oh, that’s right, I wrote one myself (Don’t worry, that’s all of the shameless plugs for this article.)  But the only reason so much has been said is because it’s such a popular (and fun, for me) topic.  So, I’m going to do some more writing about it today.

This starts at a very early age for most people.  Even little kids see romance differently as in this example:

Seven year-old girl:  Let’s play house.

Seven year-old boy:  Let’s play doctor.

Then as they get into their teens the girl may say something like this:

Sixteen year-old girl:  I’m interested in romance and I want a relationship, but I’m not ready for sex.

Whereas, the teen age boy would probably counter with this:

Sixteen year-old boy:  I’ll agree to anything if we can have sex.

As the sexes advance into their twenty’s things only progress slightly, as in these examples:

Twenty-five year-old female:  I’m at the age where I am looking for a serious, romantic relationship.

Twenty-five year-old male:  Let’s spend the night naked.

Lest anyone think that men are just superficial pigs, particularly, at this age, it’s not necessarily so.  Some twenty-five year-old men also want something more long term and will say this.

Twenty-five year-old male:  Let’s go somewhere and spend the whole weekend naked.

The idea of a serious relationship forces me to digress for a moment.  After a woman has sex with a man they often, if they ever see or hear from the man again, consider they have progressed to the level of a “serious” relationship.  That is serious, as in grim and grave, and no longer fun, as the dictionary defines the word.  If you can’t have fun, then why bother doing anything.  It doesn’t mean you can’t do it well if you are having fun.  You can have a committed loving, relationship and not be “serious.”  In fact, the only way you can have a loving, long lasting relationship is by not being “serious.”

(I felt compelled to put that non-humorous paragraph in there to show what a deep thinker I am and to show that I am not a superficial pig as many men are considered to be when it comes to romance.  Let me also say that when I say I am “deep” there is absolutely no hidden sexual connotation meant at all…since I am not a superficial pig.)

As people get to middle age they are often married by then, sometimes several times.  The idea of romance changes a little bit for the woman, maybe a bit more for the man:

Wife:  I’m feeling romantic, how about dinner and a movie?

Husband:  Uh, sure, if the movie has naked women in it.

Then as the couple gets old things start to change a lot:

Old Wife: (Sighs reminiscently) Remember when we were young and we’d make love all night long?

Old Husband: (Looks puzzled and a long pause) Who are you?

There you have it, the difference in romance throughout life.  If you want more of this kind of valuable information on romance from someone as learned on the subject as myself, you can always buy my book which you can find on the web site.  That wasn’t a shameless plug, by the way, that was a very overt plug.

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Today we have some helpful hints for bachelors from a couple of men that represent a group called, Darn near, Undeniably, Mostly a Bachelor (Hereafter, referred to by its acronym, DUMB.)  They are going to answer some questions that our readers have sent in because they know that when they want answers about anything, then darnfunnyonline is the place to go…Really it is.

We’ll be referring to these bachelors as #1 and #2 because, basically, when you are in a group like DUMB it’s not something you want to publicize. Here is the first question:

Steve:  #1, speaking as a DUMB man, what makes being a bachelor appealing to you?

#1:  I think it’s just the simple things in life like being able to stare at a wall and not have your mate ask you what you are thinking about.

#2:   Another nice thing is not having anyone see you getting dressed and telling you to wear something different.

Steve:  You know #2, seeing as you are dressed in oddly colored plaid pants and a brightly colored striped shirt, you could do worse than getting a little advice.

#2:  You are part female aren’t you?

Steve:  No, I’m simply trying to look at things from both side and in doing so, being the devil’s advocate.

#2:  Aha!  He is a woman!

Steve:  Okay, moving on.  Our next question is, as a DUMB representative, in terms of decorating your homes, how do you do that without the advice of a woman?

#1:  First of all, once we put a piece of furniture in a spot, that’s where it stays.  There is no, “Let’s try it over here,” or “Let’s try moving it six inches to the right.”  Once it’s on the floor, that’s where it stays.

Steve:  What if you happened to have dropped it?

#2:  It doesn’t matter.  That’s where fate intended that furniture piece to be.

Steve:  That’s a little rigid in your thinking, isn’t it?

#1:  Not really.  Plus it gives us a lot more time to stare at the walls and not be asked what we are thinking.

Steve:  Any other DUMB decorating tips?

#2:   Yes, when we move into a new place we just go ahead and go out and buy some mold and get a head start on things.  That way if we put the mold there ourselves we don’t feel quite so bad about not having a woman around to clean it up.

Steve:  That is not only stupid, it is sexist too.

#2:  I’m sorry you feel that way, but that’s why you’ll never be a DUMB man.

Steve:  That is something to be thankful for…Our next question is, as a confirmed bachelor, do you feel you tend to take better or worse care of your car than if you had a spouse?

#1:  I don’t know that there is much of a difference in caring for the car, because that is traditionally the province of the man anyway.  I think where the difference lies is in the driving of the car.  First of all, we are generally on time to things because we don’t have to wait for a woman.  Secondly, we are also not so tense while we drive because we don’t have anybody telling us to, “Speed up,” “Slow down,” “Don’t follow so close.”  Those kinds of things.

Steve:  But isn’t it true that insurance companies give lower rate to married men than they do to single men?  That would indicate that married men are actually better drivers.

#2:  Steve, the problem I’m seeing with this interview is you are just not thinking like a DUMB man.

Steve:  That’s true, I should probably end off and just let you guys go stare at a wall.

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(This is actually the first chapter of my award winning book…no need to ask what award… that I sell on my web site.   If you like this then buy the entire book.  If, on the other hand you think this sucks, then still go ahead and purchase the book anyway, because I was just kidding when I said this is the first chapter.  The book is actually totally different than this…[wink, wink])

One of the top priorities in trying to romance a woman is to make her think that you are actually listening to her.  Even more important than that is to make her think you actually care what she is saying.  If a man is able to master these skills he is well on the way to having a romantic relationship.

Make no mistake this is quite a talent.  And you have to understand she will not be talking about anything that interests you, such as sports, or your work, or the big fart that some guy left in the middle of a meeting today that just cracked up all the men.  Amazingly, the woman at the meeting were not nearly as amused, go figure.  It won’t be interesting stuff like that at all.

She’ll want to talk about stuff like how her feelings got hurt when her girlfriend made a comment about her dress.  Or she’ll want to discuss how the bills are going to get paid this month or about a bill collector who keeps calling and she can’t take it anymore.  You know, all the meaningless crap that women get worked up over.

One of the first abilities you will have to hone is to not let your eyes go glassy when she is talking to you about something like how her best friend seemed really cranky today. (Special note:  When a comment like that comes up it is best to not mention that you think the friend was PMSing.  You can say that about her enemies but not her friends.  And PLEASE, never, ever say it about her.  At least not if you ever hope to have sex again, which is really why a man wants to be romantic in the first place.)

To practice that skill it’s a good idea to drill looking at a still object and smile while thinking of something interesting like how much fun it would be to get really good seats for the Super Bowl, especially if someone gave them to you for free.  After you’ve mastered that try it with a dog or cat.  Dog’s are good, especially for this drill, because if you are just looking at them and smiling they’ll tilt their head and wonder what the hell you are doing, very much like a spouse will do with you if you screw up on this ability. It teaches you to persist.  Cats, on the other hand, will probably walk away when you look at them and smile if they feel there is nothing in it for them.  Not unlike you would like to do when your spouse is talking to you.  So, on second thought, don’t do that drill with a cat.

Now that we’ve briefly covered the fake listening part (don’t worry, there’s more, we’ll be going over that theme throughout this informative and educational book) we need to address how to genuinely do the fake caring part.  This can be more complex.

One simple technique to apply here is the periodic nodding of your head.  While it can be effective, because it allows you to drift off into anything you want, it has the disadvantage of making them think you want to hear more.  I can hear the groans.  Sorry guys.

Another method you can use is to daydream about having sex.  I’m not even going to get into if it is with her or not, too dangerous of territory there.  In this way you will look really interested in whatever she has to say.  One thing you have to remember is you do need to occasionally hear something she says, otherwise you could be screwed.  No, not in a good way you morons.  You’re not even listening to what I’m saying now!  How can I teach you how to ignore the woman you love and still score sex (i.e. romancing her) if you don’t listen to me?

Okay, sorry I lost my cool there for a minute.  What I was saying there about hearing something she says just involve tidbits, so that you can occasionally repeat them back to her.  Here is an example of the correct way:

Her: She wore the exact same outfit I wore to work today.  Except I’m sure hers was just a cheap knock-off.

You:  Wow, exact same out-fit.  (Then continue daydreaming.)

Wrong example:

Her: She wore the exact same outfit I wore to work today.  Except I’m sure hers was just a cheap knock-off.

You: Right, You’re a cheap knock-off.

Then when you wake up a few minutes later you pick yourself up off the floor and gently rub the lump on your head.

So, you definitely need to pay attention to these valuable lessons.

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( Here is an article that I had written 20+ years ago, back around when my wife was breast feeding our daughter.  I hope you enjoy it!)

For every wife who has breast—fed her baby there comes a point where the husband wishes all he had to do was cry a little bit and he would get a boob thrust in his mouth. If that were the case, there would most likely be a sudden increase in the stock of onions with new dads buying out the market as an aid in loosening up their tear ducts. Alas, it doesn’t work that way.

Besides the obvious advantages for the baby, breast—feeding can also work out best for the man too. For example, if the dad is willing to sleep with ear plugs in he never has to lose a night’s sleep.

There are advantages that both the husband and wife may enjoy. If the woman has small breasts, while breast-feeding she will expand her bra size quite a bit. Women who thought they would starve their child if they breast-fed will be pleasantly surprised to find that their babies can do for them what no exercise, or cream, or special massage, or special bras, or even wishing upon a star could do. They can give her a big set of chahoogas.

Then when the woman also has to tuck a nursing pad inside her bra, it’s Dolly Parton move over. If someone were to do a careful survey of the situation, they may find that some women breast—fed their children strictly for ego building reasons.

Although most women, again, won’t admit it, they also like to breast-feed because it feels good. That’s right! They probably even wish the dads would take a few lessons from their children on how to handle a boob. That is, of course, until the baby starts to get teeth. Then we’re talking a whole different ballgame.

For any woman who’s got a bit of an exhibitionist in her, breast-feeding may be the answer to her prayers. She now doesn’t have to pose for a nudist magazine or become a porno star. It’s totally acceptable for a woman with a baby to bare her breast in public. Naturally, the baby must be sucking on it when she does this.

While many men will privately read magazines such as “Playboy” or sometimes watch an X-rated movie, when they see a woman breast—feeding they get embarrassed and make an effort to not look at her. So much so that very often the woman won’t even realize she’s being spoken to. It will appear to her that either the man is addressing someone else or he has become cross—eyed.

Babies get very enthusiastic about breast-feeding also. When what is called the “rooting reflex” goes into action it looks as if the child is going after the boob with the gusto of “Jaws.”

Babies breast-feeding in their forth to sixth months like to take a break between slurps. They look around, entertain themselves, get in on the action and then dive back on the breast similar to a cat pouncing onto a mouse. This can be very cute and mom and dad will laugh as they watch it until the baby, as above, starts getting teeth. Particularly for the mother the laughter turns into wide-eyed terror.

This, not surprisingly, leads us to weaning which is also a source of excruciating pain for the woman. For a day or two her breasts will swell to unbelievable proportions. Men, take a picture if you want because unless she has another baby you’ll never see you wife’s chest expanded to this size again. But beware!! Do not touch them!! In the first place, you can get the same enjoyment out of fondling Mt. Rushmore, but believe this, none of those presidents will attack you and a weaning woman most certainly will.

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(I saw a headline on the Internet that Jennifer Aniston is having more sex than Brad Pitt since they got divorced.  Well, Duh!  Brad Pitt lives with a football stadium full of kids so he is not going to be having a whole lot of sex!  Anyway, it reminded me of an article I wrote for a publication 21 years ago when my daughter was just three years old.  So I’m reprinting it here. Enjoy!)

The age-old question every man comes up with after the birth of his child is, “Is there sex after birth?” The life after death question pretty much fades in comparison for a man who is desperate enough to ask this question. The answer to it is, “Eh, not so much.”

Until about four to six weeks after your wife has the baby it’s best to not even think about sex. Some men have been known to get so frustrated they’ve gone to the zoo in hopes of getting a glimpse of the monkeys or apes having sex. Occasionally, an unfortunate bloke may then only catch the turtles going at it. After seeing how slow they are, they end up not caring anyway.

Other men may get to the point where they get vicarious joy from the dog humping their leg. In fact, they may even encourage it.

Once the wife is ready for sex that is still only one barrier that has been overcome. Now you’ve got to start thinking about contraception. Whereas before the baby was conceived you were trying to get pregnant (well, sometimes) and you could have at it with reckless abandon. Now you’d better be a little more careful or you’ll end up with another sex drought. It would be comparable to a man dying of thirst in the desert and him using his only glass of water to wash his face because he’s afraid he’ll get a pimple. So, contraceptives are a must.

Finally you’ve gotten to the point where your wife is as excited about lovemaking as you are and your baby is also asleep, a rare combination. Everything may be going along exactly as planned and just as you think your wife is about to let out a scream of ecstasy, it sounds as if her voice has changed. Has it been that long that you don’t even recognize her sounds of pleasure anymore? Not at all. That was your baby screaming, not your wife. It’s a cold, heartless couple (or an extremely horny one) that will continue the sex act when their baby is wailing at the top of its lungs.

When it comes to this type of thing, babies seem to have a sixth sense about them. They like attention and they are very good at getting it. They know that if their parents are so engrossed in each other they’re not going to get it (and neither will the parents), so they need to do something about it. Since their voice is the only tool available at this age, they use it and they use it well.

To get a better understanding of this whole situation, I think it would be appropriate at this time to take a trip into the mind of a baby at the age of six weeks old.

Aha, the first thing we see as we enter the mind is a “No Sex” sign, a picture of two parents having sex with a crayon line through it.

That was nothing we didn’t expect. We’ll have to go a bit deeper into this mind. (Yes, I realize the first part of the last sentence was the wrong phrase for a sex starved man to read.)

There are lots of toys and stuffed animals about.  Pictures of the parents playing with the baby, taking him for walks in the stroller.  Now we’re getting somewhere!  There’s a “No Brothers or sisters” sign, again with the crayon line.  That sheds a bit more light on why they don’t want their parents to have sex.

This insight into a bay’s mind can be fascinating, can’t it?

Well, well, another sign up ahead. (Keep in mind that a baby’s mind is not nearly as complex as an adult’s due to the fact that they haven’t had as much time to screw themselves up.)  This is a “No Mommy Abuse” sign.  The child suspected foul play with all the wild screams of ecstasy.

Now you parents can understand the pitfalls of having sex with a baby in the house.  You have a better idea of the misunderstandings it creates. But why should babies be any different? Sex has caused confusion ever since Adam simply asked Eve to take up the hem on his fig leaf. Now you’re probably asking, “What are we supposed to do, abstain until he’s an adult?” Not at all, take the kid to a babysitter and then you can go at it like rabbits! But then, of course, you’ll feel guilty for that too.  Ah forget it!  Just do it whenever you have a chance. (Which isn’t often.)

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My e-mail account got hacked this week causing me to get many e-mails from people telling me that they were getting bogus e-mails from me.  My first reaction was to draw upon all my technical knowledge and after doing so; my second reaction was to panic, because I have no technical knowledge.

After realizing I didn’t have a clue what to do about this situation, and the panic wasn’t helping, I relied on my American ingenuity and decided to ignore it, hoping it would go away.  My reasoning was if these hacker people saw that they weren’t getting any reaction from me they would stop doing their hacker type activities.  This was not based on common sense, but more so on the aforementioned panic and lack of technical knowledge.  I was figuring the hacker was like a bully, if he’s not getting a reaction he’ll go away.  But a hacker is not a bully.  He is more like the sleazy slime that feeds on the scum on the bottom of the scum that is beneath the other scum at the bottom of a swimming pool that has not been cared for a few years.

The ignoring philosophy is like a fat guy covering all but the first digit on his digital scale so that when he is over 200 pounds he had to go to 300 pounds, theoretically, to have gained any weight.  A nice idea, but not very workable when your pants are splitting every time you bend over.

It’s not that I wouldn’t have wanted to face the hacker head on but hackers are not accessible.  They hide behind the anonymousness of the Internet.  They are the type of geek that goes beyond geekiness  that would put a pen protector inside a pen protector in their shirt pocket.  But there is an evil side.  And all the while they do their hacking business to compensate for the pencil size of their private parts.  When I say pencil size I’m referring to a pencil that has been well used and sharpened many times so that only a nub is remaining and the use was all by the hacker himself because he couldn’t get anybody else to use his pencil at all and he even had to put cream on the sides of his pencil or the paint would rub off from all the self abuse of his pencil (if you get my meaning.)

Now that I’m through my bitterness, I can tell you the type of punishment that I think a hacker deserves.  I thought of it when I saw a headline of a news item on AOL.com, “Crocodile Tears Man’s Testicles to Shreds.”  Hmmm…now that I think of it there may still be a thread of bitterness left.

Luckily, the story had a happy ending when someone told me all you need to do is change the password on your account to end the madness.   Now you know what to do if an anonymous pencil-private parted geek hacks your account.  So, this web site is not only wildly (yes, I said wildly, not mildly) entertaining but it is now becoming educational as well!

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