Best of the Week’s Late Night Jokes – 07/09/10
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 09-07-2010
Tags: Craig Ferguson jokes, David Letterman jokes, hilarious jokes, Jay Leno jokes, late night comedian jokes, late night humor, really funny jokes
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Here are the funniest jokes of the week from the late night comedians including, Jay Leno, David Letterman and Craig Ferguson.
“You people are so lucky you live in California. This heat wave back east is just unbelievable. … It was so hot in Washington, Nancy Pelosi skipped the Botox, had her face injected with frozen yogurt.” –Jay Leno
“Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq on July 4. It was a surprise because Biden thought he was going to Des Moines for a fund-raiser.” –Jay Leno
“While Vice President Biden was away, Republican Chairman Michael Steele was forced to take over the job of saying embarrassing things you have to apologize for later.” –Jay Leno
“You hear about this? Michael Steele said that — well, he’s in trouble, actually — for saying the war in Afghanistan was Obama’s war, and it was unwinnable. In fact, Steele felt so sorry for it, he said today he went to his favorite bondage nightclub, demanded to be spanked.” –Jay Leno
“Back in 1776, Americans were fighting to escape British rule, these days we’re fighting to escape British oil.” –Jay Leno
“They say traces of BP’s oil has started turning up in disturbing places, like congressmen’s pockets.” –Jay Leno
“Iran has banned the mullet. Today, the state of Kentucky broke off all diplomatic relations with Iran.” –Jay Leno
“Sunday is July 4, when America combines our two favorite pastimes: alcohol and explosives.” –David Letterman
“Ladies and gentlemen, news from the world of broadcasting. Larry King has announced his retirement. He says he wants to spend more time with his wives.” –David Letterman
“But, seriously, Larry has really been trying to slow down, of course, since his recent death.” –David Letterman
“Here’s how savvy the Russian spies are and were — they knew four years ago that Ricky Martin was gay.” –David Letterman
“They’re having the confirmation hearings down in Washington, D.C., with Elena Kagan. And so far, the woman has offered very few opinions. I thought to myself, well, my God — how do you find a woman like that?” –David Letterman
“BP executives are saying that Hurricane Alex has rendered their clean-up efforts completely useless. In other words, nothing has changed.” –Craig Ferguson
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