Best Late Night Jokes of the Week-10-23-09
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 23-10-2009
Tags: Bill Maher jokes, Jay Leno jokes, jokes and stuff, late night comedian jokes, late night jokes
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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians.
”A new study shows that the phrase most often used by President Obama is, ‘Let me be clear.’ The phrase he uses the least often? ‘Let me be specific.’” -Jay Leno
“Did you see what happened to Rush Limbaugh? Hey wanted to buy the St. Louis Rams and they wouldn’t let him. He said this was a dream he had, to some day own black people.” -Bill Maher
“The White House is calling for bailed-out executives to get a 90% pay cut. They want their pay cut 90% so it’s more in line with the job they’re doing. Here’s my question: why can’t we get this for Congress?” -Jay Leno
“Here’s the latest from the Pentagon. The generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts: with Afghanistan and Fox News.” -Jay Leno
“Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University have invented a robot whose sole mission is to deliver you snacks. Got a big problem here in America. We’re getting too much exercise walking to the fridge, now?” –Jay Leno
“According to USA Today, car theft is at a 20-year low. Well, that shows you how bad the auto business is. People don’t even want to steal them now.” –Jay Leno
“President Obama announced he wants to give every senior citizen $250 next year. This is part of his ‘Cash for Geezers’ program.” –Jay Leno
“And prosecutors in New York City have filed charges against a man they claim scammed dozens of illegal immigrants by posing as an immigration lawyer. They say this guy lied to his clients, he gave them bad advice and stole their money. I don’t know, sounds like a real lawyer to me.” –Jay Leno
“And the Post Office may cancel Saturday delivery of the mail. Do you know about this? See, for young people before texting and twittering, you used to send pieces of paper to each other.” –Jay Leno
“Yesterday in Louisiana, a judge denied an interracial couple a marriage license because he felt, I quote, their children would later suffer in life from being interracial. Like when they become president or win the Masters or get an Oscar.” –Jay Leno
“This afternoon, according to a a media psychologist that was on this cable show today, it may not be John Edwards’ fault that he cheats on his wife. Not his fault. They psychologist said he may suffer from a clinical condition known as Asperger’s syndrome. Asperger’s syndrome. No, you know what he has? He has ‘ass grabber’ syndrome.” –Jay Leno
