Best Late Night Jokes of the Week – 08/20/10
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 20-08-2010
Tags: Craig Ferguson jokes, hilarious jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Fallon jokes, Jimmy Kimmel jokes, jokes from late night comedians, jokes from the news, really funny jokes
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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon,Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel.
“After three weeks of jury deliberations, Rod Blagojevich was convicted yesterday on only one of the 24 counts against him. The one count he was convicted for? Transporting illegally silky hair across state lines.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“He could get up to five years, though that’s very unlikely. He’ll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Can you imagine Rod Blagojevich in a prison jumpsuit? He’d look like a traffic cone with a Koosh ball on top.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a growing movement among Democrats to replace Joe Biden as VP with Hillary Clinton in 2012. Do you realize that if that happens, for the first time Hillary will be directly under a president.” –Jay Leno
“Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have reaching a custody agreement. Neither of them is allowed to say anything bad about the other parent or the other parent’s family in front of Tripp. So basically nobody is allowed to speak in front of Tripp.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Fertility clinics in England say they are facing a nationwide donor shortage and are looking for international sperm donors. Finally a job Levi Johnston is actually qualified for.” –Jay Leno
“According to U.S. and Iraqi commanders, if the U.S. pulls out of Iraq, their borders will be vulnerable and they won’t be able to stop anyone from entering their country. Well, join the club.” –Jay Leno
“President Obama may be willing to meet with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. How does that make the governor of Arizona feel? The president won’t meet with her, but a four-foot tall Holocaust-denier in a Members Only jacket? No problem.” –Jay Leno
“The White House is defending President Obama’s sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.” –Jay Leno
“The economy is so bad, the Obamas are thinking about taking their next vacation in the United States.” –Jay Leno
“In ‘The Expendables,’ Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger beat up Sylvester Stallone for convincing them to invest in Planet Hollywood.” –Craig Ferguson
“Schwarzenegger was only in the movie for five minutes, but during that five minutes, he achieved more than in all his years as governor.” –Craig Ferguson
“When Schwarzenegger heard the title ‘The Expendables,’ he thought it was in reference to California’s teachers.” –Craig Ferguson
“Al-Jazeera’s English-speaking channel was nominated for an International Emmy. On the red carpet, Joan Rivers will be like, ‘Who are you wearing? And why is it ticking?’” –Jimmy Fallon
Best Late Night Jokes of the Week – 08/20/10 | darnfunnyonline.com…
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