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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, David Letterman Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon:

The White House is now urging Americans not to “read too much” into last week’s jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn’t read it at all. –Jay Leno

Mitt Romney told the crowd at an NAACP conference that if he were elected president he would fight for all millionaires, black or white. –Jay Leno

At a democratic fundraiser in Seattle earlier this week, Vice President Biden said that Romney’s economic policies were “George Bush on steroids” — as opposed to Obama’s policies, which are “Jimmy Carter on Ambien.” –Jay Leno

In Mexico, the loser of their presidential election is accusing the winner of election fraud. He says the winner bought millions of votes. To which Mitt Romney said, “You can do that?” –Jay Leno

Anybody watch the baseball All-Star Game last night? There’s nothing more entertaining than watching the players give 50 percent. –David Letterman

The American League was defeated 8-0. The American League also lost the 2011 All-Star Game as well as the 2010 All-Star Game. Under President Obama, America’s own league is on a losing streak. –David Letterman

The baseball All-Star Game was played in Kansas City last night. Baseball used to be our national pastime before it was replaced by the Kardashians. -Jimmy Kimmel

Mitt Romney gave a speech at the annual NAACP conference in Houston. Why, I don’t know. Maybe he confused NAACP with NASCAR. -Jimmy Kimmel

The event got off to a bad start when Romney pulled up in front of the convention center and he instinctively locked the doors to his limo. -Jimmy Kimmel

A hotel in England is bringing in Kindles to replace Bibles on the nightstands. And then they’ll be bringing in more Bibles to replace all those stolen Kindles. –Jimmy Fallon

The U.S. Army says it’s developing a new body armor for female soldiers inspired by “Xena: Warrior Princess.” In related news, everyone at Comic-Con just joined the Army. –Jimmy Fallon

It’s rumored that Apple is getting ready to release a smaller, cheaper iPad. It has a cool name too. It’s called the iPhone. –Jimmy Fallon

The record-breaking heat wave hitting the rest of the country is now hitting Los Angeles. I was sweating like President Obama trying to spin the latest unemployment numbers. –Jay Leno

It was so hot, Eric Holder was smuggling water pistols. –Jay Leno

It was so hot, immigrants were crossing the border on Slip ‘n’ Slides. –Jay Leno

An awkward moment for Mitt Romney today in Colorado. A homeless guy asked him for a dollar, but all he had was Swiss Francs. –Jay Leno

In a new interview, Mitt Romney said he doesn’t know where his financial records are because he doesn’t manage them. Yeah, he would have said more, but he had to give a speech on why he’s the perfect guy to fix the economy. –Jimmy Fallon

Best Buy just announced plans to lay off 600 Geek Squad employees. In response, Geek Squad employees were like, “Phew, good thing I already live with my parents.” –Jimmy Fallon

A high school in Indiana is requiring every student to buy an iPad instead of using textbooks. That’s nothing. In China they require every student to MAKE an iPad instead of using textbooks. –Jimmy Fallon

Over the weekend, a man in Massachusetts was chased by a great white shark while he was kayaking for the first time. Or as he’s now calling it, “kayaking for the LAST time.” –Jimmy Fallon

Mitt Romney’s campaign raised $35 million more than President Obama for the month of June. Out of force of habit, Mitt stashed it all in the Cayman Islands. –Jay Leno

Mitt Romney is now promising conservatives that if he is elected, he will put Anderson Cooper back in the closet. –David Letterman

Congratulations to Courtney Kardashian, who has a brand-new baby girl. I was worried that there was going to be a shortage of Kardashians. –David Letterman

You know whose birthday it is today? O.J. Simpson. O.J. celebrated his birthday with some friends in prison, and they had a nice little party for him. Out of habit, after he cut the cake he hid the knife. –David Letterman

The White House is telling Americans not to “read too much” into Friday’s bad jobs report. Or as Americans put it, “You had me at ‘don’t read too much.’” –Jimmy Fallon

Comic-Con starts this week in San Diego — and get this: it’ll actually feature a blood drive. Because that’s what comic book fans need — a way to look even more pale. –Jimmy Fallon

After signing a new three-year contract with the Knicks, Jason Kidd could become the fifth-oldest player in NBA history. Which explains his new name: Jason Adult. –Jimmy Fallon

Barney Frank became the first congressman to enter a same-sex marriage. As opposed to most congressmen, who prefer to just enter someone else’s marriage. –Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers at the University of Minnesota now say that because of the recession, women are jumping into bed with guys faster. They say women are having sex with men after just one drink, all because of the recession. Finally, we are beginning to see the try benefits of the Obama economic plan. ” –Jay Leno

“The latest poll shows 56% of voters think President Obama has changed America – for the worse. At this point, there’s only one thing that can keep Mitt Romney from beating him. Mitt Romney. ” –Jay Leno

“According to Mitt Romney’s wife Ann, Mitt may be looking at a woman for Vice President. The bad news? They have John McCain doing the background check. That could be dicey.” –Jay Leno

“Listen to this. Congratulations to Congressman Barney Frank. He became the first sitting Congressman to enter into a same sex marriage when he married his longtime boyfriend Jim Ready this past weekend. You know those Democrats, they love their mandates.” –Jay Leno

“Congressman Dennis Kucinich also attended the wedding. He wasn’t there as a guest. He was hired to stand on top of the cake.” –Jay Leno

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