Best Late Night Jokes of the Week-06/25/10
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 25-06-2010
Tags: David Letterman jokes, funny observations, hilarious jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Fallon jokes, jokes about BP, jokes about Obama, really funny jokes
2
Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon and David Letterman:
“General McChrystal was relieved of his duties because of derogatory comments he made about President Obama and other White House staffers. In fact, when he heard that, Joe Biden was shocked and said, ‘What? You can get fired for saying something stupid? What? When’d they start that? Is that new?’” –Jay Leno
“So, the bad news for McChrystal is he got fired for insulting the President. But the good news is, Fox said, ‘We’ll hire him.’” –Jay Leno
“Actually, McChrystal now saying it was all a misunderstanding. He said he did make the comments in Rolling Stone but they forgot to add the ‘LOL.’” –Jay Leno
“Today, President Obama fired General Stanley McChrystal, saying McChrystal showed poor judgment in his Rolling Stone interview. It turns out when it comes to criticizing the White House, the general’s policy is ‘just ask, and I’ll tell.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“On the ‘Today’ show this morning, BP executive Bob Dudley said that CEO Tony Hayward is committed to BP, and BP is committed to Tony Hayward. Oh, good. Because our number one concern here is, how are you guys doing?” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama is being criticized now. Here’s the problem. The British Petroleum guy, Tony Hayward, was on his yacht recently. Everybody thought, whoa, this idiot. I mean, the Gulf of Mexico is turning to asphalt and the British Petroleum guy is relaxing on his yacht. When he heard about that, President Obama was so angry, he missed a putt.” –David Letterman
“Due to an explosive interview in Rolling Stone magazine, our top commander in Afghanistan, Gen. Stanley McChrystal, has been ordered home to explain why he criticized the president, made fun of Joe Biden, and called the White House staff a bunch of clowns. He should be called home. That’s not the general’s job. That is my job.” –Jay Leno
“It’s two days since Father’s Day, so John Edwards, you can come out now! It’s safe!” –Jay Leno
“Larry King’s oil spill telethon last night raised $1.8 million. Usually, to get that much money from Larry King, you have to divorce him.” –Jimmy Fallon
“Researchers found that most parents don’t know if their preschool-aged child is overweight or obese. I think the real news here is that those are the only two options.” –Jimmy Fallon
“People are kind of upset with British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when President Obama found out that Tony Hayward was on his yacht, he was so angry, he missed a putt.” –David Letterman
“In his defense, Tony twittered that the oil spill was still his top priority. And I think you know that a guy really cares when he tweets from his yacht.” –David Letterman
“Tony Hayward on a yacht. Where are the Somali pirates when you need them?” –Jay Leno
“Because of the success of ‘Toy Story 3,’ Pixar is now rushing ahead with its plans to do a sequel to one of its most popular movies, presented by BP. It’s BP presents ‘Try Finding Nemo Now.’” –Jay Leno
“While the whole oil mess has been going on, President Obama spent the weekend playing golf with Vice President Biden. Biden’s handicap is 16 and Obama’s handicap is Biden.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama also went to the White Sox-Nationals game this weekend and actually sang ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game.’ However, critics were quick to point out that while his singing sounded good, it seemed like he really didn’t say anything.” –Jimmy Fallon
“It’s rumored that President Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, will leave the White House at the end of the year. He says the work is important to him, but he wants to spend more time screaming at his family.” –Jimmy Fallon
A metaphor is like a simile.
Sent from my iPhone 4GA metaphor is like a simile.
Sent from my iPhone 4G
Very stimulating blog commentary… definitely something to think about =). Thanks for sharing this.