Best Late Night Jokes of the Week- 03/05/10
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 05-03-2010
Tags: David Letterman jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Kimmel jokes, late night humor, late night jokes
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Here are the best jokes from this week from the late night comedians… I, for one, am very glad Jay Leno is back:
“Gay marriage now legal in Washington, D.C. How about that? So, if you’re a congressman, in bed with a lobbyist, if you like it, you better put a ring on it.” –Jay Leno
“Well, in his new book, Karl Rove said that the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq badly damaged the Bush administration’s credibility. It’s all in his new book here, it’s called ‘Duh.’” –Jay Leno
“Representative Charles Rangel, the chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, has temporarily surrendered his post pending an ethics investigation. They’ve been investigating him for three months now. And so far, they have not found a single trace of ethics.” –Jay Leno
“Hey, did you hear about this story today? This is pretty wild. The FAA is investigating why a child was allowed to direct air traffic at John F. Kennedy airport. You know this story? … Authorities say they got suspicious when five of the planes landed at a Toys ‘R’ Us parking lot.” –Jay Leno
“Imagine that, children directing air traffic. Today, the Chinese said: ‘Why didn’t we think of that? Sure, get more kids working. Why not?’” –Jay Leno
“Of course, the pilots were stunned. One of them said, ‘Am I still drunk, or is that a kid’s voice?’” –Jay Leno
“Karl Rove’s new memoir, ‘Courage and Consequence,’ is coming out next week. Not sure if ‘Courage and Consequence’ is how most people would describe the Bush years, but I guess it does sound better than ‘Oopsies.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“New Yorkers are desperate. They’re trying to get Paterson to leave early, and I said to myself, ‘That sounds like a job for Jay Leno.’” –David Letterman
“I love the biathlon. That’s the sport that involves skiing and shooting the rifle. Or as Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, call it, ‘date night.’” –Jay Leno
“President Obama had his first physical exam as president over the weekend. The doctor said he was in much better shape than the country.” –Jay Leno
“Interesting, when the doctor told him to turn his head and cough, he turned to the left.” –Jay Leno
“Let Canada have hockey. If they beat us in obesity, then I’ll start to worry.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“Buzz Aldrin will be on ‘Dancing With the Stars.’ He may be the only man to have walked on the moon and moonwalked in the same lifetime.” –Jimmy Kimmel
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