Best Jokes of the Week from Late Night – 11/26/10
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 26-11-2010
Tags: best jokes from late night, Conan O'Brien jokes, David Letterman jokes, hilarious jokes, Jay Leno jokes, Jimmy Fallon jokes, late night comedians jokes, late night jokes, really funny jokes
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Here are the best jokes of the week from the late night comedians including Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson and David Letterman:
“The TSA has issued some special packing tips for travelers before Thanksgiving weekend. They say not to bring food, sharp tools, or any shred of dignity.” –Jimmy Fallon
“In her new book, Sarah Palin says she once gave up chocolate for an entire year just to prove she could do it. Still think she’s not qualified to be President?” –Jimmy Fallon
“George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush had a wonderful interview with Larry King. Larry is so confused. He asked Barbara Bush how long she has been on the Quaker Oats box” –David Letterman
“Ratings for the second episode of Palin’s TV show have gone way down, falling 40 percent. So I guess she and President Obama do have something in common after all.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“North Korea attacked South Korea by brazenly firing mortars into their country. Apparently what happened was, Kim Jong Il got angry over the fact that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” –Jay Leno
“In the latest Harry Potter film, Harry loses his friends, has to battle overwhelming evil forces, and hides in exotic foreign places to avoid public scrutiny. I’m sorry, that’s President Obama.” –Jay Leno
“The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, “I don’t need a pardon. I need a job.” –Conan O’Brien
“When asked about the new TSA body search, Hillary Clinton said she herself wouldn’t like to go through an airport pat down. Bill Clinton added, “I think we all know where Hillary stands on being touched.” –Conan O’Brien
“Some people think Bristol Palin is only doing well on ‘Dancing With the Stars’ because of an organized effort by the tea party. I hope the Democrats will respond by helping Nancy Pelosi win on ‘Flavor of Love.’” –Craig Ferguson
“Sarah Palin has managed to use her failed vice presidential run to put herself in a position of power and influence. Joe Biden won the race and he hasn’t been able to put himself in a position of power and influence.” –Craig Ferguson
“There’s a new version of Rolling Stone magazine being published specifically for the Middle East. It’s called ‘Throwing Stone.’” –Conan O’Brien
“Sarah Palin’s new book can be found right next to George W. Bush’s new book in the ‘Apparently Anyone Can Write One of These’ section.” –Jimmy Fallon
“A TSA worker gave me a pat-down and found another TSA worker’s hand.” –Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama has a tough decision to make this week. Which turkey does he pardon — the thanksgiving one or Charlie Rangel?” –Jay Leno
“Happy birthday to Vice President Joe Biden. President Obama got him a gag gift. Not a funny gift, an actual gag.” –Jay Leno
“President Obama said GM’s comeback would be the success story of this recession. GM said it wanted to thank those who made its recovery possible: Toyota’s brakes, Toyota’s steering and Toyota’s accelerator.” –Jimmy Fallon
“A group of economists unveiled a new plan to reduce the deficit by $6 trillion in the next 10 years. The first step of the plan is to look at all our spending over the past five years, determine what’s unnecessary . . . and then ask China for $6 trillion.” –Jimmy Fallon
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