Back to School Jokes
Posted by Steve Yeich | Posted in Jokes | Posted on 07-09-2009
Tags: back to school humor, back to school jokes, Letterman's top ten, school humor, School Jokes
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In honor of the school season getting back into full swing here are some school jokes I found on the Internet:
Back to School Joke:
Summer vacation was over and Little Johnny returned back to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved!; couldn’t you show me the same courtesy?”
LETTERMAN’S
Top Ten Signs You Are Headed For Summer School
10. You failed the Pledge of Allegiance
9. You take notes with the eraser end of the pencil
8. You identify more than half of the state capitals as “Funkytown”
7. Principal’s final words before summer break: “See you tomorrow”
6. For your civics class project, you brought in several photos of Honda Civics
5. Whenever you enter the room, your family stops talking about Disneyland
4. Your history report was on President Martin Sheen
3. In your physics final, you keep referring to “gravity” as “gravy”
2. Latest report card includes several G’s
1. You threw a phone at the principal
Teacher Circulation Joke
A well-intentioned teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation. Trying to make the matter clear, she explains, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes,” responds the class.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
The answer then comes from the back of the class, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
One for all those that hate math class:
Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.
Not really a school joke, but we’ll call it a history lesson:
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ”
pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to
the promised land”.
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on
your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land”.
Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of
camels, and mortgaged the promised land.
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